Kindergarten for Mekdes

Today Mekdes started Kindergarten!

Before bringing Mekdes home I thought I may homeschool her for kindergarten to aid in our attachment and time together, but once she was here and seeing Ella go off to school each day it was evident that she would not be happy with being home schooled.  Ella's school was already full for kindergarten so we prayerfully went forward with trying to find Mekdes a school that would be a good fit.  We found her a spot in a christian school for 5 mornings a week, which is great for consistency of schedule. And it starts earlier than Ella's school, which works out well for getting both kids to school on time. But the best part is that out of the 12 other kids in her class, there is one other girl that was adopted from Ethiopia within the last year. Isn't that awesome!

I believe Mekdes will do great in school, she's a good listener and loves to be helpful.
My concern for her is that she doesn't know social norms and I fear she could alienate herself from the other kids by insulting them, or rather just speaking the truth...
Like how she always ask when seeing a large person "Too much food or baby?"
I've been talking with Mekdes about being polite and not saying these things to people, but this morning as soon as we walked into her classroom we were greeted by the principal and Mekdes grabbed my hand and whispered too loudly "Why her teeth black?"   I did not see any black teeth on the principal but I'm guessing that Mekdes saw fillings, the principal was very nice as I explained that we're working on learning social norms.

Ella came with me to drop Mekdes off at school and then I brought her out for a little time together, just the 2 of us.  It took only an hr before Ella said "mom, I really enjoy spending time with you but I kind of miss my play mate"

I was prepared for some difficult behavior this afternoon, brought on my this huge change of starting school and leaving the family. But, we had none, she got in the car and said "lunch, rest time, movie?" yes, and then blue berry picking.


                                     .  

Children's Festival

Today Greg had to work so, with questionable sanity, repeated emphasis on being good listeners and my cell number written on their shoes, I decided to attempt our first "crowd" event with 3 kids,  a children's festival being held at a close by park. 

We arrived early and went straight to the bouncy houses.  I thought we'd only stay for about an hr. we ended up staying for 4.  Everything was free (even the food) the kids were great (other than a little balloon drama by each in turn)  and we all had fun.

 Ella chose to be a cheetah,  Mekdes wanted a butterfly and a car, Bini asked for a purple car

 Bini ran up to kung fu panda yelling "kung fu panda I love you!" but he'd only get close enough to give a high 5

 exhausted! 

Snow in the Summer

I somehow just deleted the long blog post I was writing about life in our household these past 3 months, and It's too late to start again tonight, but my parents have been deprived pictures of their grandchildren for far to long...so here are a few from June.
 We told Mekdes we were going to take her to see the snow and she was SO excited!!! I wondered if she'd be as exuberant when she realized how cold snow is, but she was, she loved it! After playing in the snow we went to a lake near the base of the mountain and the kids caught tadpoles. A fabulous summer day!

Back in 2009, when we were in Ethiopia adopting Biniyam, we stayed at a guest house run by Birtukan and Nesibu, who founded and run Yezelalem Minch, an Ethiopian non-profit community based program that cares for orphans and widows in and around Addis Ababa.  During our week with them we had the privilege of listening to Birtukan tell the story of her vision for the children of Ethiopia. Here's the story to the best of my recollection.

Birtukan grew up as a World Vision sponsor child.  Once she aged out of the sponsorship program she began working for World Vision.  One day she was translating a letter from a sponsor in the US.  In the letter the sponsor had written that he was crippled and on disability, but that it brought him great joy to be sponsoring this child.  This was a huge eye opener for Birtukan, as she had imagined that all US sponsors were wealthy. She began thinking about how if someone who is not wealthy in the US can sponsor a child then she too can help the children of Ethiopia.
During this time Birtukan had 2 marriage proposals and she asked each of the men (and this is the part of the story I love because she makes such a serious face) "Do you share my vision for the children of Ethiopia?" and neither of them did ... and neither of them received her hand in marriage.  Then Nesibu came along and asked Birtukan to marry him.  "Do you share my vision for the children of Ethiopia?"
"Yes, Yes, I share your vision, it is a very good vision"  and that's how this couple, who pour themselves out daily for the orphans and widows of Ethiopia came to be.

They started by taking orphaned street kids into their home and after awhile they rented a house and hired a house mother to care for the children in an orphanage that was more like a home.
They founded Yezelalem Minch (which means "Everlasting Spring", a reference to Isaiah 58)

through which they now care for over 1200 children who have lost one or both parents, providing them with a sponsor, with health care and health education, and by inviting them to a feeding program every Saturday.   We have visited the feeding programs on each of our visits to Ethiopia, it is an experience unparalleled to any other.  I would love to post pictures of all the beautiful children with their huge smiles, but the government of Ethiopia is sensitive about pictures of orphans and poverty (not that they read my blog, but just to be safe I won't post any).  I can post one of us serving, which was an experience that flooded me with an emotion that I guess I'd say was humility as well as gratitude to be able to serve, grounded in the reality that I had no control over where I was born. 

The last part of Birtukan's vision that she told us about back in 2009 was to build a vocational school for older sponsor children and widows.  Birtukan and Nesibu have been working on getting land donated for over 2 years with no progress, meanwhile the rent in Addis Ababa, the capitol of Ethiopia, has increased exponentially as foreign nations begin investing in and building up land.  The cost of rent is stressing the means of YM.

A group of families in the US have joined together to form the Future Hope Campaign to raise money for Yezelalem Minch to purchase land.  The land would be used for their offices, the orphanage, the saturday feeding program, community showers, and a training facility so that orphans and widows can learn a trade (coffee roasting, sewing, hand crafts etc.) and break the cycle of poverty.

This Saturday, July 16th Greg and I are throwing a fundraiser here in Washington:
$20/ticket for 2 drinks, dessert, a DJ and art exhibits by local artists.
220 West Champion street, suite 200, Bellingham, WA (North West Plaza building)
from 7-9pm
If you are local to Bellingham I hope you will join us, If you are not local but want to support a great cause please consider visiting the future hope web site  and making a tax deductible donation (95% of donations go directly to YM) or purchasing a YM t-shirt (designed by our talented friend Shiloh).
This is an organization we are deeply passionate about and truly believe is working for the good of the destitute in Ethiopia, keeping children out of orphanages and with their families.

Bini Bytes

Bini is wonderfully two.  He's got a big personality and we so appreciate the laughter he brings into our days. He's a talkative little guy and people are always commenting on how clearly he speaks, I don't know if he necessarily speaks more that most kids his age or if he's just so much bolder (and louder) than most and will speak around strangers.
"I'm Biniyam, I'm clever" was said to a man in the park this week and "how's it going, I'm 5" was to the man in the car next to us at a red light. Yep, he's claiming to be 5 these days and he's no longer "beebum" which makes me a teensy bit sad.

His intonation can make even his most simple question amusing "can I have soME? his voice goes way up at the end of questions.

"I'm a beautiful Panda!" He tells us this all the time, and if he's feeling terribly two it's followed by his angriest "OKAY!?" to which the only proper response is "Yes Biniyam, it is quite obvious that you are a beautiful panda!"

"Can I drive?" he asks me this so often that I just have to admire his optimistic persistence.  And of course I can't let him drive or I'd miss the moments in my day that brings me so much delight- when I catch him playing air guitar in the rare view mirror.  Eyes closed, tongue out, left arm high in the air - dude, my boy rocks that air guitar!

And I just love the car conversations

"Ella, Ella, are you a Rhino?"
"No Biniyam I am not a Rhino"

"Ella, Ella, are you a Giraffe?"
"No Bini, I"m not it Giraffe"

"Ella, Ella, are you a dinosaur?"
"No Bini, I am not a dinosaur."

"Ella, Ella are you a bumblebee?"
"No Bini, I'm not a bumblebee?"

......Ella was exasperated, I was amused.

And he's picking out letters everywhere now "Momia, I see an H, h says hhh."
 He's dubbed me "momia" now, I feel so fancy.
 (and he's learned his letters not from his momia but from watching Leapfrogs talking letter factory)

 Bini's most famous line right now, know and mimicked by our friends, is what he yells whenever he falls or bumps into something, after he coughs, sometimes through tears and often for no apparent reason at all, is "I'm Okay!"

His cheerful "good morning!" is used as his greeting throughout the day.

And he says an exuberant "yum, yum, I'll have some!" whenever food is offered.

When given an open banana in the peel he gets so excited "like a big boy!"

He's begun singing "God is so good" but mimicking Mekdes's accent "God is so gooood" and every once and a while he'll throw out an Amharic word

He's told me twice when he needs to use the potty and then actually used it.

Those times this was his conversation as i sat on the floor near him waiting.

"Mommy, mommy close your eyes"

"no peeking"

"no peeking mommy!"

"no looking"

"no looking mommy!"(repeat these lines for about 10 minutes)

I sat with my eyes closed until I heard the sound of success.

Here he is calling his grandmas to brag about being a big boy

 and with Dad cheering on the Bruins

Spring in the NW means slugs everywhere, and Bini gets excited about each one! "I see a slug!" "Can I hold it, can I touch it!"  Slug slime is not easy to scrub off little hands!  I prefer worms and snails.  Bini and Mekdes gathered 7 snails one rainy afternoon and have kept them on the deck for the past few weeks.  Bini loves playing with them!

 The snail is driving Bini's truck.

 One evening the kids were playing in the girls room and Bini began crying so loudly that I thought he was hurt,  I raced to him only to find this....

 Bini all dressed up.  I began laughing, scooped him up, and brought him to the living room where everyone burst into laughter.  Once Bini realized he was getting laughs he raised his hands in the air "I look great!" And now he's agreeable to being their "live doll"

at least for a few minutes before he removes the tiara and wields it around like a sword. 

More Ethiopia

 Our girls Wed morning

 This is the Family Morning Coffee Guesthouse where we stayed.  If you get the chance to be in Ethiopia I can not give a higher recommendation for lodging.  Meeting the amazing owners, Birtukan and Nesibu, and being inspired by the work they do for widows and orphans through their NGO Yezalelem Minch,  is a remarkable experience.  http://familymorningcoffeeguesthouse.com/

 Out for a walk, we saw a donkey

 some goats

 and some cows wandering down the street.

 We walked down to a field hoping to find a place to play soccer. Here are some homes near the field.

 I had read that dressing similar to your child can help them identify with being part of your family, thus the matching outfits. I had also read that having a "family motto" could help in building family identity so we'd put our hands on top of each others and say "1,2,3, silly Sunds" I'm amazed by how much all our kids love this!

 An Ethiopian Feast at the guesthouse, Yum!! There wasn't a meal at the guesthouse Ella didn't eat, one night when she was really tiered I tried feeding her some plain white rice and she didn't want it. Then I offered her some spiced Ethiopian rice and she ate two servings. All the food at the guesthouse was amazing.

 Two sweet girls who were pretending to be asleep but couldn't stop laughing.

Thursday was a holiday so we spent all day at the guesthouse.

 Mekdes, Ella and Birtukan's daughter Sami painted their toe nails

 Thursday night two of the families who had been staying with us left with their newly adopted children for the states.  I think that seeing them leave was emotionally confusing for Mekdes, why are they leaving and she's not, and the reality of the "big change" as we call the adoption, "Telique lout" in Amharic.  Ella and Mekdes watched a movie on the laptop Thursday before bed, when it was time to shut off the movie Mekdes began to pout and would not lie down, we told her it was time for bed, she understood what we wanted but she got up, got her leapster and turned it on, we took it away and told her it was time for bed.  She wouldn't lay down. I had to pick her up, lay her down, and then lay down to go to sleep beside her. She sat up and started pealing the nail polish off her toes. I layed her down again and rested my arms around her and could feel her silently crying, "big change"  My heart was broken for her and the overwhelming experience she was living.  She finally took a drink of her water and burped. I giggled and mimicked her burp, she giggled and through the universal language of burps and laughter harmony was restored and she was soon asleep.


Friday was a difficult day (and when I write about the behavior we've experienced through this transition of Mekdes into our family please understand that this is expected with older child adoption, her world has been turned upside down and she has no control. )
She woke up and immediately took the chocolate out of my suitcase, "no, we're going up to breakfast" Greg explained in Amharic.  Lip curl, narrow eyes, shoulders up turned, her back to us, stiff, would not move.  I picked up her stiff body and just talked normally/cheerfully to her and carried her up to breakfast, she relaxed once at the table and ate.

 We went to the opulent Sheraton Hotel for a morning in the pools.  This was her first time at a pool so we weren't sure how she'd react, she loved it! No fear! She ran right into water.  She'd run from one pool to another and we'd follow.  She kept trying to drink the water.  Greg told her the water was bad not to drink it and she said in amharic "No daddy the water is beautiful!!!" Going back through the hotel the girls enjoyed the flowers and the fountains. Although trying to keep Mekdes from picking the flowers was a challenge.  Mekdes did not want to hold my hand and would struggle against it, she'd hold Ella's hand and pull her as she raced along.

After the hotel we went out to eat and when I wouldn't let M have my coffee she again pouted, standing with her back towards the table for a good 20 min. A quick shrug of the shoulders to us when we'd try to talk to her. I finally picked up her stiff body and carried her around the garden talking normally to her showing her all the pretty flowers, soon she was relaxed then hyper,  racing around and climbing on decorations that were not for climbing.  I ended up picking her up going to the table and telling Greg I needed to take her out to the van and wait there, thankfully everyone was ready to leave by that time and we headed back to the guesthouse.  We spent the afternoon at the guesthouse and she wanted nothing to do with us. If we sat near her she would move, if not out of the room then to a spot where her back would be towards us.  Thankfully she still wanted to play with Ella so we knew that if she was doing anything dangerous or destructive Ella would come and tell us.  Once when she got up to leave the room I entered, I called her. Without looking back she gave me the quick shoulder shrug and kept walking.  I went and picked her up and sat her next to me and tried to explain that we understand it's a big change and that we love her, she shrugged, got up and walked away.

  At dinner we told Birtukan what had been going on and asked if she'd be willing to talk with Mekdes, they had a good talk and it seemed to help a great deal.  Saturday Mekdes was joyfully excited about going to America, we spent the entire wonderful day with Birtukan and her family, visiting the YM soccer team, the feeding program for YM sponsor children and then attending a birthday party for two of  Birtukan and Nesibu's sons.

 Our flight home began Sat night and Mekdes and Ella both did wonderfully and slept the entire first flight to Amsterdam. When we got home Ella fell asleep on the couch and Mekdes very cutely explored every nook and cranny of our house.
 We had ordered some Ethiopian food to be delivered from an Ethiopian women in town who makes food for the farmers market.  What a ton of wonderful food!  Mekdes ate it for breakfast and lunch over the next two weeks and we recently pulled more out of the freezer for another meal with our Amharic tutor.

I will eventually sit down and write about life in our house over the last 5 weeks. Things are good, but it has not been easy.