Ella, Mekdes & Biniyam

Advent 2011

2012-01-22T22:23:00.000-08:00

Decorating (and lots of excitement!)

wiggly toothed Mekdes-clause (she's lost two teeth so far, each one within a week after Ella loosing the same tooth, there is a lot of tooth related excitement and drama in our house this winter!)

making a gingerbread house

festive hair

welcoming daddy home

antagonizing wild beasts (M's first time at a zoo)

Ella had her Christmas Piano Team concert in Seattle and her ballet performance as a "towns kid" in the Nativity. (Mekdes decided that she did not want to take dance after attending some ballet and hip hop classes)

Nana and Papa visited for 2 wonderful weeks

We had to travel up Mt Baker to find some snow, the girls loved sledding, Bini wanted nothing to do with being out in the cold!

pig pile on Papa

lots of baking with nana

Ella and Mekdes both sewed felt bird sachets and made duck tape coasters to give as gifts, Ella also made bottle cap magnets.

I even got crafty and finally made stockings (something I've been wanting to do since Ella was born!)

The girls each picked out a picture of a stocking on line and I used those as my patterns

Not being a very crafty person I was silly with excitement when they were finished. Bini will have to wait until next year for his.

Ella read a scripture and sang with the other children at our church's Christmas eve service (Mekdes had no interest in participating and Bini barked throughout practice so we kept him off stage).
After church Ella and Mekdes stood on the porch singing, then Mekdes saw the blinking red light of an airplane high in the sky and started jumping up and down and pointing "I see santa!" with such magical excitement. (We have been totally honest with her about Santa, but it's fun when they still get caught up in the moment)

A christmas miracle, our first family photo where we're all looking towards the camera.

On Christmas morning the girls got up together and were able to open their stocking before we woke Bini, then they insisted that Greg and I open all the gifts that they made for us before opening any of their gifts. I love their excitement about giving. They made us beautiful cards and books.

"This is my favoritest day ever!"- Mekdes

Nana made this awesome knight costume for Biniyam (once when Ella asked "Bini, do you want to be a knight?" he answered "Sure, I'll be the moon." )

Ella's big Christmas request was for the new Magic Tree House book. Much to her surprise and delight there were actually two new books out in the series, she finished them both within a week.

The "big gift"we gave the girls were roller skates, Mekdes was so excited "remember mom, remember when we were in the store and I was crying and crying because I wanted you to buy me some of these" Yes dear, it was back in Oct., but I do so clearly remember. On Christmas day, after church and turkey, the girls- roller skates on, disco ball swirling, tunes blaring, and adults to cling to- hit the garage and broke in their new wheels.
By the end of vacation they had hit the rink twice and were doing a pretty impressive job skating. At the rink Bini's wheels were tightened so much he was practically walking, after a few minutes he declared "this is easy!"

We hope you had a wonderful Christmas and are enjoying 2012.

Sisters

2011-12-15T20:47:00.000-08:00

They ran past me into the bathroom and shut the door. I could hear giggles, lots of giggles, and when the emerged I asked what they'd been doing.
"We were telling secrets, because I have a sister now, and that's what sisters do!" - Ella

Wordless Wednesday- Whidbey

2011-11-30T22:16:00.000-08:00

Biniyam's dance moves

2011-11-15T21:31:00.000-08:00

6 Monthiversary

2011-11-12T23:08:00.000-08:00

6 months ago we brought Mekdes home and began life with our complete family.
"Mekdes, it's been 6 months since you've been living with us"

M- "No! It's been 20 hundred years! It's been long long time!"
It does feel like it's been a long time, and the reality that it's only been 6 months makes me feel encouraged at how far we've come and how much further we will be in terms of attachment and affection in another 6 months.

So let me reflect some on the past 6 months, where we were, where we are now, and some moments that stand out to me:

During bedtime prayers she'd pray "Thank you God (for) Sund family" then one day it changed to "Thank you God (for) mommy, daddy" and yes, I shed some tears.

The day Greg came home and told me I looked tired. I told him I was a human jungle gym that day, Mekdes had been climbing all over me, in my lap cuddling all day, kissing all over my face all day, tickling me and wanting tickles all day, and then we just had to smile at the realization that that is where we were, that my biggest issue was that Mekdes was too affectionate. (albeit at an energy level that was exhausting)

The afternoon during the 1st month when Mekdes found some candy and asked to have it, I told her she couldn't. A bit later I put a TV show on for her and went upstairs to shower. When I came back down stairs the first thing that I noticed was the candy on the counter, I'd forgotten to put it away. I then realized that she hadn't touched it. It was one of those moments in a really hard month when I was grounded in the reality that her character is that of a very good little girl and the behavior is her reacting, better than I would, to a very difficult life change. She is not manipulative or sneaky, she has always been very kind and nurturing to Biniyam, she's never been physically violent or destructive, she can be trusted, she is smart, she lets us know how she's feeling (which I truly do appreciate) and we are privileged to be her parents.

I remember when Mekdes would hang on the door knob trying to get out, she did not want to be in our house and had no interest in playing with anything in it. She'd say "this not my home, this Ella home, my home Etopia" Then on a September Saturday there was this question "Mommy, can we just stay home all day, don't have to go anywhere, can we just play at home today?" I love that our home, her home, is now her comfort zone.

At bedtime she'd say "I want to go Etopia" over and over. I'd try to be empathetic and tell her that I hoped one day we could all go back together, then one night during this conversation with a little soft voice she asked "can I stay here?"

She used to look at EVERYTHING given to her and Ella and say "Ella('s) Big" "Mekdes(') Small" Even identical empty plates & forks placed in front of them. She assumed that whatever Ella was given was better. It really was difficult! I'd look in her eyes and tell her "mommy gives you good things."
I started putting the food already served on plates in the middle of the table and letting her choose hers first (thankfully Ella didn't care because she knew they were the same) then at some point she started saying "It's okay" and taking whatever was given to her but her eyes still darted to Ella's to compare. Now, I don't see her look at Ella's plate, bike, car seat, pencil etc. and assume it's better. It's a non issue now and it really was a huge, exhausting issue for the first few months!

Recently Mekdes asked me "why no baby in belly?" and I was trying to explain to her that she was my new baby and Ella piped up "She doesn't understand that I grew in your belly". So I explained to Mekdes that Ella grew in my uterus and Mekdes seemed utterly shocked, "Really? Ella? hu?" And then she asked about another baby in my belly to which I had no opportunity to answer because Ella cried out "No! I can't take any more! 2 siblings are enough!"

She used to get jealous of Ella knowing things that she didn't know - like hopscotch- and react by saying mean things to Ella (like "Ella bad") (which actually gave us a great opportunity to reiterate with Ella where her identity is (in Christ) ) now Mekdes embraces Ella as an older sister who can teach her things. I love hearing Mekdes bring books to Ella and ask "will you read this to me" or ask Ella to explain things to her.

She woke up crying every morning for about the first 3 months, She'd run to our bed and snuggle for an hour or so, poor girl. I don't think she was crying because of a bad dream, but because when she woke up she realized what was happening to her wasn't just a dream.

One night we had such a hard bedtime because Ella had asked for cuddles and I had said yes. Mekdes took this it as rejection or maybe thought I wouldn't cuddle her too. Then a few months later, when Ella said she needed cuddles, Mekdes came and whispered in my ear with excitement that all 3 of us could cuddle together in her bed that night.

Mekdes used to yell at us when we got on the highway and we thought she was afraid of going fast, until one day she was able to say "no fast! head spin spin!" and we realized she was getting car sick. We got her some sea bands which took care of the problem and also showed her that we can take care of her.

The day, after being here 2 months, that we realized she didn't think we were in America, she said "No, no America (waved her hand around her) ugly Etiopia" it took some convincing to get her to realize this is America. We're pretty sure she'd been fed some tall tales about what America would be like ( i.e. living in Disney World) and we were falling short.

The night the kids and Greg were having a dance party and she called for me, I came down picked her up and started to dance. She put her head on my shoulder and cried, I sat and rocked our grieving little girl until she fell asleep in my arms. Greg told me that right before calling for me she'd been looking at a picture of her friends at the orphanage. Oh how my heart breaks for all her loss!

Mekdes' relationship with Greg took a huge leap forward on the 4th of July. We went to Greg's parents and Greg and Mekdes played badminton together for a long time, their relationship continued to grow and now she is an adoring daughter.

In 6 months she has gone from speaking very little english to reading! She has known all her letter sounds since this summer, but this week she has started putting them together and reading words! I'm amazed. I think she's one smart cookie (to which she tells me "I'm not a cookie!")

She has gorgeous hair, it's the #1 thing strangers mention about her. She has the ringlet curls that I tried so hard to get in high school and never could. I don't know if it was a lack of trust or a control issue, but when we first came home she didn't want me to touch her hair. I had to stand firm on that I was at least going to give her hair the basic care it needed to be healthy, but she wouldn't let me style it at all. She's wear headbands or scarfs which usually ended up off and messy by mid day. Then she let me do ponytails/puffs and now, just last week, she's started to let me braid it. I have a lot to learn but I'm excited to try new styles!

We have conversations each night with one of her stuffed animals. We pick it up and say something like "Hi bear, do you know that mommy and daddy love Mekdes so, so much?" and the
bear says "yes, yes, yes"
Me -" Do you know that mommy and daddy love Mekdes when she has a bad attitude"
Bear-"Yes, mommy and daddy always love Mekdes"
Me- "Do you know that mommy and daddy love Mekdes when she has a good attitude"
Bear- "Yes, mommy and daddy always love Mekdes"
Me- " Do you know mommy and daddy love Mekdes when she has trouble listening?"
Bear- "Yes, mommy and daddy always have love for Mekdes"
and the conversation goes on like that, sometimes short, sometimes long, the big point being that nothing she can do will make us not love her, we love her because she is ours.
Then we cover the bear with kisses, the bear covers her with kisses, we then tell the bear that it's our turn and we cover Mekdes with kisses. She loves this!
She's started taking a turn having conversations with the bear. My favorite was "Do you know Mekdes loves mommy even when she makes food not so yummy"

One morning this summer Mekdes leaned over and tickled Ella. Ella didn't want to be tickled so moved away from Mekdes' hand. Mekdes saw this as total rejection and it took her a good 40 min. to get her out of the slump that it had put her in. She couldn't separate Ella not wanting tickles from Ella not wanting her. I was thinking about this last month when we went away for a few night (very successful for Mekdes) and Ella and a friend ran in the bedroom and asked Mekdes to play "If you wait for me" she answered, but off they ran. So she very contently stayed cuddled up with me until they returned. "We thought you were coming to play?" they asked, she answered "I say, 'if you wait for me'" so they waited and off she went to play. She was appropriate and confident in that interaction.

6 months ago we ripped the scaffolding out from under her and watched her struggle as she had nothing solid on which to find her footing. Now I see her standing on the framework of a solid new foundation, in 6 more months I hope we'll have some base flooring down, in another year or so maybe some hardwoods and after that some carpet where she feels cozy and secure enough to relax. I wish I could rush the process but I know it's only with time, love, and consistency that we'll get there, but I am confident, we will get there!

Halloween 2011

2011-11-01T21:32:00.000-07:00

Once the candles were lit Bini burst into song "Happy Birthday to you..."

See the wink, it's something new, we explained winking to Mekdes one day and then she had about a week when she would do this exaggerated wink whenever possible. And the black on black outfit, I suggested she wear her pink pants with that top and she told me "no mom, this (top) and this (pants), it's very cool" how does she get that? She picks up so much!

not so scary that night, but now that they've been on the steps for a few weeks, oh they are scary!

Mekdes had her first field trip and she was so excited. Ella had a teacher work day so we were all able to join Mekdes' class at the farm for some soggy fun.

Ella's school does a "Historic Halloween" which is a pretty big deal. The kids chose a person in history, write a speech in the first person, practice a lot, and then present their speeches in front of a room full of parents. Ella chose to be Catherine Hamlin, a fistula surgeon who has worked in Ethiopia for the past 52 years (Greg and I were able to meet her on our trip to pick up Biniyam) There is a wonderful documentary called A Walk to Beautiful about Dr Hamlin and the fistula patients in Ethiopia. Ella's speech was only 3 sentences but she did great and didn't seem nervous at all.

Happy Halloween! from Princess Tiana, the mermaid, and the puppy dog (Bini wanted to be Bob the tomato, I made him a costume, he refused to put it on, so hence the to small doggy costume) We joined the crowds for after school trick or treating around the stores in the old part of town, it's fun because we get to see so many costumes and run into friends. How did Mekdes like her first Halloween experience? silly question right? She loved it, and after 2 hrs told me she was tired and ready to go home.

I love this picture of Mekdes, because it so so her, see the position of her hands on her hips as she's eye to eye with the scary head. She's so strong, and her stance is letting this head know she is not going to let him scare her!

After dinner we went trick or treating around our neighborhood. At one of the houses Mekdes was handed candy, turned to me and said (loudly) "Wow mom, she is SO old!.. I hope she doesn't die!" I was able to hold it together until reaching the sidewalk and then just burst into laughter. Got to love it, she is just so honest. And Biniyam was Biniyam, pure entertainment and a lot of energy!

Flower Girl

2011-10-29T17:15:00.000-07:00

Ella recently had the honor of being a flower girl in our friend Sarah's wedding.
I forgot my camera, but some pictures of the beautiful wedding can be found here:

http://followcharles.wordpress.com/2011/10/27/sarah-and-matts-wedding-in-bellingham-washinton/

(Bini and Mekdes stayed home with a sitter. I'd brought Mekdes out in the afternoon for special mommy-Mekdes time, so that during the wedding she was happy to stay home and watch a movie.)

Mekdes' 1st Birthday Party

2011-10-23T21:38:00.000-07:00

A little over a month ago we got to celebrate Mekdes' first birthday with us, turning 6 years old. Mekdes was SO excited in anticipation of the big day. They don't celebrate birthdays in rural Ethiopia, so Mekdes had never before had a birthday party, but, as in so many instances, she copied Ella's emotion, and Ella was very excited for Mekdes to have her birthday.
We started the day by opening a special present from Mom and Dad, a new doll

Greg and I were able to go into her school for the beginning of the day and watch for a little bit as she did her morning routine and then shared a bag of 5 things that told about her (we packed her swim suit, a bike bell, and ballet slipper as she loves those activities, a cross- because she loves Jesus, and an Ethiopian basket to represent her 1st home.) Mekdes' teacher told me that later in the day when a game was stopped so the teacher could talk to some of the boys who were misbehaving, Mekdes took off her crown and stated "this part IS NOT my birthday!" I found this very cute.

We had her party that afternoon at a nearby park, 13 friends came and helped her celebrate as well as both sets of grandparents, quite a treat!

Nana made this amazing Princess Tiana cake and also did face painting at the party, she's got talent!

Mekdes had a great time, other than one incident when she was playing chase, tripped and fell and then another kid fell on top of her pushing her face into the cement. Poor girl! It looked so painful! Her forehead, lip and both knees were bleeding. She was a trooper though and after some cuddles, ice and with the enticement of opening presents she was able to recover and even play some more.

One cute moment was at the end of the party when she looked at the gifts, picked one toy up and asked "mommy, can I keep this?" and I told her she could keep them all, they were all for her. She got wide eyed, like she hadn't realized this, and she quickly gathered up all the bags.

Here's a little bit more about our newest 6 year old:
The great majority of the time she is a very happy, bubbly, silly little girl

She loves to sing and has a beautiful voice

She has an athletic ability that leaves us in awe. She got on her bike and within days was riding it well, by the end of the summer she was riding without training wheels. Her hand eye coordination with games like badminton if far beyond other 6 year olds we know. We love that she has this love for sports and what we see as being gifted athletically, we feel this will be a healthy way for her to differentiate herself from her sister.

She loves to run; she loves to go jogging with me, she actually keeps me going if I slow down. And I love watching her run, her long stride, it is truly beautiful. (Yeah, we've done a little olympic day dreaming.)

She had no food issues, which I had anticipated her having d/t lacking food at times in her life. But if she's not hungry or doesn't like the food she won't eat it. She didn't like chicken or cheese when she first got home but now likes them both, and she's good with eating veggies, she asked for seconds of kale and mushrooms at dinner tonight, kale! Really what 6 year old asks for seconds of kale before asking for seconds of mac n' cheese?! This one!

She's great at sharing. I'd had thought that a child who hadn't had much would cling to what she was given, but she doesn't, overall she is very willing to share and even give some of her things away.

Her english is amazing, it's been such fun watching it progress by leaps and bounds. On the downside she has forgotten both her other languages, this makes her sad and I hope one day we can give her Amharic lessons. (some cuteness while learning english: In Amharic "Buna" is coffee so when she got a cold and was coughing she'd say "oh, big buna!" )

Her foot has grown from a shoe size 11 to a shoe size 2 since being home!

She really like being helpful and to clean, this makes a mamma happy! Sometimes I'll hear her "whispering" to Ella that they should clean and surprise me, so I'll happily occupy myself elsewhere until they are done.

She loves cooking and we've had some good bonding time when she helps me do my dinner prep in the afternoons.

Yezelalem Minch Video

2011-10-12T21:54:00.000-07:00

http://vimeo.com/joellemelissa/futurehope

Please take 3 minutes to watch this video. Please consider donating to this worthy cause.

Why I am Grateful Today

2011-09-08T21:27:00.000-07:00

Labor Day (and September 7th) marked the 2 year anniversary of day our blissful life was jarred with the news that Ella's belly pain and fever was more than just a virus, not the appendicitis we had feared, but a nasty cancerous tumor growing on her kidney.
Yesterday as I washed dishes I listened to my girls, full of giggles, playing in the living room and was overwhelmed with gratefulness to God for all the blessings I see as I look back to this time 2 years ago.

- Ella's 1st complaint of belly pain and a low fever happened on the day Greg and I were leaving for Ethiopia to bring Biniyam home (6 weeks before diagnosis.) What if the tumor had been found then, how would we have gotten Biniyam? And what if it had been found while we were in Ethiopia? Oh, I can't imagine how hard it would have been to be so far from her at that time!

- The fact that Ella got her fever and lethargy on a holiday expedited her diagnosis because we brought her to her the ER. Had it been a regular week day I would have called her pediatrician, maybe got an appointment that day, maybe been asked about constipation and told to watch her. Either way Greg would not have been there, and we needed him with us!

- The most vividly painful moment for me was in the emergency room at Children's when the oncologist came to admit her and told us that the first place that the cancer would metastasizes would be to her lungs. I remember reaching and grabbing Greg's hand and I don't know if I said it out loud or only with my eyes, but my thought was that it was in her lungs. She had complained twice that week of pain in her upper chest, pointed to her lungs and said it "it hurts here" and I had thought it was weird, not a usual place for a kid to complain about, but cancer, no, that wasn't even a thought that passed through my mind, I had told her she must have pulled a muscle. Yet in the ER when the doc mentioned mets to the lungs the fear gripped me, her complaints made sense. I am so grateful that I can say that those were the worst 24 hrs of my life thus far, because once we received the CT results, then ultrasound results and finally biopsy results, the news kept getting better.

I truly believe that a miracle took place the night we entered the ER and people across the country began to pray for Ella. I believe that our prayers were answered and that Ella's tumor was shrunk back to a stage 1.

Thank you Lord!

We also rejoice in this, that last week when we went to children's for Ella to get an ultrasound and x-ray everything came back clean and healthy. Praise the Lord!

Ella doesn't realize the significance of this week, so if you asked her about life she'd most likely tell you that she (finally!) lost her first tooth!

or that she was a summer superstar reader

Or that there are fairies living in the fairy garden that she, Mekdes, and Nana planted last week!

Or the biggest news, That today Ella started 1st grade!!

Ella was a bit nervous about starting 1st grade, even though she goes to a montessori school and 9 out of the 10 kids in her class went to kindergarten with her.

What did Ella think of 1st grade? "I LOVE it!"

Oh Ella, what a joy you are to us and what a blessing it has been this summer to see your kind and generous heart towards your new sister

Kindergarten for Mekdes

2011-08-30T23:11:00.000-07:00

Today Mekdes started Kindergarten!

Before bringing Mekdes home I thought I may homeschool her for kindergarten to aid in our attachment and time together, but once she was here and seeing Ella go off to school each day it was evident that she would not be happy with being home schooled. Ella's school was already full for kindergarten so we prayerfully went forward with trying to find Mekdes a school that would be a good fit. We found her a spot in a christian school for 5 mornings a week, which is great for consistency of schedule. And it starts earlier than Ella's school, which works out well for getting both kids to school on time. But the best part is that out of the 12 other kids in her class, there is one other girl that was adopted from Ethiopia within the last year. Isn't that awesome!

I believe Mekdes will do great in school, she's a good listener and loves to be helpful.
My concern for her is that she doesn't know social norms and I fear she could alienate herself from the other kids by insulting them, or rather just speaking the truth...
Like how she always ask when seeing a large person "Too much food or baby?"
I've been talking with Mekdes about being polite and not saying these things to people, but this morning as soon as we walked into her classroom we were greeted by the principal and Mekdes grabbed my hand and whispered too loudly "Why her teeth black?" I did not see any black teeth on the principal but I'm guessing that Mekdes saw fillings, the principal was very nice as I explained that we're working on learning social norms.

Ella came with me to drop Mekdes off at school and then I brought her out for a little time together, just the 2 of us. It took only an hr before Ella said "mom, I really enjoy spending time with you but I kind of miss my play mate"

I was prepared for some difficult behavior this afternoon, brought on my this huge change of starting school and leaving the family. But, we had none, she got in the car and said "lunch, rest time, movie?" yes, and then blue berry picking.

.

Routine

2011-08-28T22:32:00.000-07:00

This summer is almost over and what have we been up to? Well, on any given day that is pretty easy to answer, at least regarding our physical whereabouts. We have a routine that worked itself out in Mekdes' 2nd week home and has been a sanity saver pretty much every day since.

They (books) say that routine is important for a child who has had sudden major life changes, she left places never to return and on those days her routine was probably a little different than on previous days. She's really not sure when/if another life change is going to happen (esp. upon first coming home.) It is majorly important to her that she knows what is coming next; otherwise she's living in a highly stressed state. So, although we hadn't pre planned living a structured routine we soon realized how much easier life was when we stuck to one. The exact timing of when we do things could vary by hours; it's all about the sequence. We can throw something like an errand into the mix as long as we reassured her that we will be getting back on track after we're done. It's really worked well for all the kids and has had an added benefit of cutting down on tantrums rooted in wanting to ride her bike or watch tv at any given time,
So here's our day:
* Drop Ella off at school (May and June)
* Bring kids to a park (at first choosing ones that were small and quiet, away from water or busy roads)
I don't brink snacks or drinks to the park so that we can transition home at a time when she chooses that she wants snack.
*Lunch
*Rest time 1 hr. in her room, Bini down to nap (mom exercises- I now crave exercising as I need those endorphins!)
At first she resisted rest time, and I felt guilty having an hr without "face" time. But, thankfully, Greg insisted that she take one, as it was in her routine at the orphanage and he feared I may go insane without a break. We let her play quietly in her room or on her leapster, and she'd stay in her room only because "no rest time, no movie" and she loves movies.
* Movie, can be a 1/2 hr show or a long one depending on what I need to get done.
* Wake Bini,( pick Ella up from school)
* Ride Bikes/ Outside play
* Dinner
* Family Walk
* Bedtime (which once in bed took 1 1/2 hrs May-July (cuddles in bed, lay on floor next to bed, sit outside bedroom door till asleep) now takes only about 10 min (cuddles)

At night she wants me to tell her our plan for the next day and many times during the day she'd ask "lunch, rest time, movie?"
By week 5 the kids were so into the routine that it didn't matter if it was pouring rain, they'd be outside riding their bikes and playing after their movie.
By week 6 Greg drove Ella to school instead of us and Mekdes ran to her room in tears until I could soothe her fears by holding/rocking her and going through the rest of the routine with her, assuring her that the rest of our day would be as usual.
Once Ella got out of school (about week 8) and the weather was nice we began wanting to do some after dinner fun things, like get ice cream and go to the beach to eat it, or meet up with friends at a park for dinner. We soon realized it just wasn't worth it, the transition from being out to coming home and getting ready for bed was painful, full of tantrums and refusal to get ready for bed (refusing to spit out toothpaste may be something she can control but really? it hurts no one but herself)
It's hard for us to say no to socializing but I had to remind myself that when Ella was physically sick (chemo) we really became homebodies for fear of germs, Mekdes isn't physically sick but her emotional state is just as serious, so we hunkered down and stuck to our after dinner walks. That is, until last week....
We decided to go to Whistler. We knew it would be difficult for M, so we only went away for 3 nights knowing we could drive home if needed. She did great the first day, really had fun in the pool, and bedtime, which I had thought would be difficult for her, wasn't a problem. The big meltdown came after horseback riding. She had a huge smile on her face during the short ride that her and Ella went on at the same time with similar looking horses. But when she got off the horse she asked to go on another ride, we explained she could go tomorrow but we had said "one activity" today and we were going for ice cream now. She had a very bad attitude and wouldn't listen when we called her so I ended up putting her 50 # body on my back in the ergo and hiking the steep base of the mountain back up to our hotel= not fun! I laid on the bed next to her as she screamed and said "Mekdes no more good attitude, bad attitude, bad attitude fun for Mekdes, no more helping"...etc. I was honestly mad. I wasn't getting to see Ella and Bini have their vacation fun, so I put on my i-pod and listened to my book I said a few "we love you" but couldn't gush the warm loving things I usually try to say to bring her out of her tantrums, telling her our plans for the next day, day after, year after, her learning to drive, her wedding, etc. things that reassure her that our long term plan is to be with her. So she tantrumed and then was quiet and then she said "I'm sorry mommy, no more bad attitude, good attitude, can I have ice cream now?" That she was able to take the initiative to restoring our relationship is huge and very healthy! I told her she missed the ice cream but I could give her a treat and so we had a snack and the rest of our little vacation was great. She did have a few days when we came home that were more difficult than our usual, but so much easier than a few months ago! Our girl has done a lot of hard work in letting her guard down some and learning to trust us.
I read this the other day that made the whole horseback riding tantrum make more sense "If your child always acts up after having a good time...... remember that he misbehaves because he realizes he has given up control by having fun, and the perceived loss of control frightens him." (Parenting the Hurt Child- Keck)

The Wild Pendulum of Emotion

2011-08-12T22:27:00.001-07:00

How tempting it is to just continue posting pictures of our 3 beautiful children and never write about the challenges of older child adoption.
But, I want to write about our experiences for a few reasons,
1st is that I truly appreciate those who traveled this road before us and blogged about it honestly (thank you Holly!) I think it's very important that I make it clear that Mekdes' behavior has not been a surprise to us. Our adoption agency as well as the books prepared us to expect difficult behavior from a hurt child with a stress shaped brain. A chid that trusted her first family and they left her alone in a terribly scary place,an orphanage, never to return. Then after 6 months she switched orphanages and lost the nannies that she had trusted to care for her. 8 months later we arrived and took her away from her friends, nannies, country, language, food, familiar smells and sounds. She had no reason to trust us or believe that this was going to be a permanent living situation. Beyond that she does not want to be here with us, she wants to be back in Ethiopia, in her comfortable setting.
Being aware of the challenges before adopting makes it easier to experience a horrid temper tantrum and come away thinking "well, it could be worse, at least she doesn't spread feces on the walls."

What has been a surprise to us is just how exhausting this behavior is for us! When we read about older child adoption it's easy to say "well, of course she'll behave this way, look at all she's been through" but reading and experiencing are completely different. The constant testing, temper tantrums, mistrust, it's exhausting! Another surprise was that with all of our "understanding" (i'm smirking - we could never really understand all the complex emotions going on in her head) is just how quickly I could get frustrated. I can't tell you how many times after an unpleasant situation would end I'd realize my lip hurt because I'd been biting it so hard in frustration.

Another reason I want to blog about all this is because it is amazing how far we have come. The
very fact that I can't remember if we're on our 3rd or 4th good (actually good!) week is testament to how time is going by quickly and with ease now, that we have found a rhythm and she is learning to trust.

May did not go by quickly, it was the longest month of my life. For our first 2 weeks home we were in ultimate survival mode. My days began with Mekdes pulling me out of bed at around 5am and ended when she was finally asleep around 10pm. In between we were putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward with our day, combating temper tantrums and testing, hyperactivity, pouting and whining.
The hours ticked by slowly as they do when your in a job in which you find no joy. My joy in parenting was gone. I would wake in the morning and lay in bed praying for wisdom and the strength to make it through the day. It was not easy.

This is a blog post I wrote during our first week home but never posted...so here's a look back

So as I look back at these past 12 days I can say we are doing great. Mekdes is doing great.

That being said, this was my day:

Mekdes came into our room about 6, I was happy, this is the first day that it's been after 5. I pulled back the covers and she cuddled next to me for about an hr before slipping out of bed and pulling on my arm till I got up. Downstairs she wanted breakfast and with the pantry open she noticed cereal and pointed to it, I gave her some honey bunches of oats and she like it. Yea! Another food she'll eat, and an easy one, I've been making pancakes each morning per her request.

Ella got up and ate. Now getting dressed in the morning has caused me major frustration over the last 2 days, Ella hovers over Mekdes to make sure that she doesn't touch any clothes that aren't hers. Mekdes flips though all the clothes in the closet hers and Ella's not liking anything. This has caused me frustration because I had the misconception that a child from an orphanage would be excited about a closet full of clothes, and she may just be choosing clothes as something she can control, but she makes a show of wrinkling up her nose at all the clothes (even her Ethiopian dresses) and won't get dressed until I pick something out and try to dress her- then she'll refuse what I picked out and finally pick something out and herself. What she picks out will often be Ella's and I'll find myself begging Ella to just share that dress and Ella in tears will tell me she's sharing so much and that I said she didn't have to share her clothes. She is right, I feel horrible. It's a very long and frustrating process.

After dropping Ella off at school I took Mekdes shoe shopping, I'd planned on avoiding big stores but she only has one pair of shoes that fit and she soaked them with water yesterday. I called ahead for them to put 2 pairs of crocks on hold, unfortunately they put them on hold back in the shoe department. We navigated through the store, her eager to take off and grab sparkly sandals off the shelf "Ella" she'd say- she know her sister's taste. She doesn't understand the need to stay with me or to not grab everything. When we got the crocks she scrunched up her nose up, wouldn't try either pair on, her foot was glue to the floor. We went up and down the isles, thankfully the shoes were to high for her to see so I held her (contained child!) and she thought the displays were the only ones to buy "tinnish" (small) "tillique"(big)

then she saw a pair of sneakers that she loved, they were 50% off, great, I let her keep them on her feet, success.... but wait, we still had to make it out of the store. After we paid, and then I realized she had something in her hand- some hair elastics- and we got back in line and paid for those, we headed out past the groceries. She saw bananas and ran to them, I explained we'd have one at home (well, she knows banana and I know house in amharic so I think she knew what I was saying) the pouty lip came out she tried to wriggle her hand free of mine, the walk through the store was long as she kept trying to break free. I kissed her hand and while biting my lip said "you are precious to me, I don't want to loose you, I am going to hold your hand" I'm pretty sure that agrivated her more.

We got home, she was happy to show off her new shoes and her mood was good. I decided to take the kids on a walk on the path near our house while Greg when for a jog. Mekdes ran far ahead of me and then decided to run down an off shoot of the main straight path. I had to pick up Bini and run after her. When it was time to turn around she tried to walk up a side path. We talked to her, Greg explained in Amharic that we'd go home for lunch, she wouldn't walk so I picked her up and put her on the correct path and we started to walk, she reluctantly, so very slowly walked with us but when a bike would come down the path and we'd tell her to move to the side she would purposefully stand in the way of the bike and we'd have to physically move her. She was moving too slowly and we were too far from home to carry her so we decided Greg would take the dog and Bini home so he could go pick up Ella from school. Mekdes and I kept slowly walking down the path until I picked a dandelion and put it behind her ear she then got happy and we picked dandelions at a reasonable pace all the way home.

After a lunch I put Bini down to nap and a movie on for Mekdes. I sat beside her she cuddled into me and I reread the chapter on sleep in my adoption book, feeling guilty for just putting her to bed with little ritual over the past exhausting week. (I had planned to sleep with her but I just can't, I need sleep!)

Greg dropped Ella off at home and went out with a friend for a little while, the girls had rest time in their room then all 3 kids and I went in the backyard to play, all was going well and suddenly Mekdes took off running through the house and out the front door. I told Ella to follow Mekdes and I ran to grab Bini. In the front yard Mekdes was happily playing until Greg arrived home, he knelt and both hugged both girls at the same time. We stood in the front yard talking and Mekdes started wandering into the neighbors yard, which I don't think they care about, but the yard is covered with dog poop so I called Mekdes back and the look in her eye told me she was going to test us. I kept asking her to come to me explaining the dog poop and as I approached her she ran to the neighbors front door and put her hand on the handle, all the time looking at me. I continued to speak to her calmly "no, not our house" etc. she turned the knob, the house was locked. So she took off across the lawn and stood in the middle of the road and faced me. I called her back and when she wouldn't move went and picked her up and carried her into the house for a "time in" until she could listen.

Greg took Ella and Bini upstairs.

For 45 painful minutes Mekdes screamed and tantrumed, she'd try to get off the couch and I'd pick her up and sit her back down. I sat near her but didn't hold her down.

Finally she calmed and wanted to cuddle to reconnect. This is great that she want to reconnect but I'll admit, I'm clenching my teeth behind my smile and kissing and tickling her without joy.

Greg and the kids came down stairs and I got up to make dinner. As soon as Greg sat on the couch she stood up (as she usually rejects him) but stood next to the couch whining. I grabbed my adoption book on the counter and flipped to whining. "Oh, Greg, whining is a good thing!(can you hear the sarcasm) it's a family skill" I decided dinner would have to wait even longer and walked towards her, she reacted by walking around the corner, I followed, She sat on the stairs, I sat near her, she moved around the corner and up the stairs. I moved to two steps below her she got up and moved to a few steps below me. I told her " I'm here for you to cuddle with whenever your ready" and she crawled into my arms. Greg found us a few minutes later and sat a few steps down. Ella came and cuddled in his lap, I asked Ella to go play with Bini so Greg and I could give Mekdes attention. I thought she'd resist but she has been amazing in all this and without pause slipped off Greg's lap and when into the living room. After a few minutes Mekdes got out of my lap and moved into Greg's- This was Huge! He was able to cuddle and tickle and kiss her, she motioned for me to move next to them and then controlled our kisses and tickles by saying Mommy or Daddy and making kissing sounds or tickle fingers and pointing to where she wanted us to kiss or tickle her. This went on for a long time.

Finally I got up to throw something together for dinner and we all sat at the table to eat. Now Mekdes never really sits to eat (at the orphanage they'd sit in chairs with their plates on their laps) She gets really hyper at dinner time she sings and dances as she eats (of course we usually put on music to help me not get irritated by her noisy eating, I know she can't help it but it's really one of those things that gets on my nerves so quickly and her teeth actually squeak when she eats) She swings her hands around and food goes everywhere, this is all okay. The only rule we have, the thing we say more than you could imagine is "no standing on the chair." So we've learned to put her in the seat by the wall to contain her movement a bit durning dinner. She stood very close to me, then swung one leg over mine and by the end of dinner she was sitting in my lap. A bit awkward to eat, but it is good that she wants to be close to me. She said "Mommy, Ella, Mekdes Asa (fish) Daddy Donkey" (for her calling someone a donkey is not mean, but when she says statements like this she is saying that Greg is not part of our group) Thankfully Bini broke the tension by screaming "I'm a rhino, Rahhhhhhhhh" till his big cheeks shook and his whole face turned red. Bini, thank you for being our comedic relief in all of this!

Here are some pictures from week one

lots of mud "buuna" (coffee) was made for me.

Ready for the local Ethiopian gathering that took place the weekend after we got home (we have the 4xyear) We decided to go thinking she may like talking to some Ethiopian adults and seeing all the Ethiopian children. She was too shy to talk to any adults but really liked the bike one girl had brought and kept riding it until that girl had to go home and Greg had to carry Mekdes to the car as she kicked and screamed.... good times.

Children's Festival

2011-08-06T21:57:00.000-07:00

Today Greg had to work so, with questionable sanity, repeated emphasis on being good listeners and my cell number written on their shoes, I decided to attempt our first "crowd" event with 3 kids, a children's festival being held at a close by park.

We arrived early and went straight to the bouncy houses. I thought we'd only stay for about an hr. we ended up staying for 4. Everything was free (even the food) the kids were great (other than a little balloon drama by each in turn) and we all had fun.

Ella chose to be a cheetah, Mekdes wanted a butterfly and a car, Bini asked for a purple car

Bini ran up to kung fu panda yelling "kung fu panda I love you!" but he'd only get close enough to give a high 5

exhausted!

Snow in the Summer

2011-08-04T22:26:00.000-07:00

I somehow just deleted the long blog post I was writing about life in our household these past 3 months, and It's too late to start again tonight, but my parents have been deprived pictures of their grandchildren for far to long...so here are a few from June.
We told Mekdes we were going to take her to see the snow and she was SO excited!!! I wondered if she'd be as exuberant when she realized how cold snow is, but she was, she loved it! After playing in the snow we went to a lake near the base of the mountain and the kids caught tadpoles. A fabulous summer day!

2011-07-11T22:38:00.000-07:00

Back in 2009, when we were in Ethiopia adopting Biniyam, we stayed at a guest house run by Birtukan and Nesibu, who founded and run Yezelalem Minch, an Ethiopian non-profit community based program that cares for orphans and widows in and around Addis Ababa. During our week with them we had the privilege of listening to Birtukan tell the story of her vision for the children of Ethiopia. Here's the story to the best of my recollection.

Birtukan grew up as a World Vision sponsor child. Once she aged out of the sponsorship program she began working for World Vision. One day she was translating a letter from a sponsor in the US. In the letter the sponsor had written that he was crippled and on disability, but that it brought him great joy to be sponsoring this child. This was a huge eye opener for Birtukan, as she had imagined that all US sponsors were wealthy. She began thinking about how if someone who is not wealthy in the US can sponsor a child then she too can help the children of Ethiopia.
During this time Birtukan had 2 marriage proposals and she asked each of the men (and this is the part of the story I love because she makes such a serious face) "Do you share my vision for the children of Ethiopia?" and neither of them did ... and neither of them received her hand in marriage. Then Nesibu came along and asked Birtukan to marry him. "Do you share my vision for the children of Ethiopia?"
"Yes, Yes, I share your vision, it is a very good vision" and that's how this couple, who pour themselves out daily for the orphans and widows of Ethiopia came to be.

They started by taking orphaned street kids into their home and after awhile they rented a house and hired a house mother to care for the children in an orphanage that was more like a home.
They founded Yezelalem Minch (which means "Everlasting Spring", a reference to Isaiah 58)

through which they now care for over 1200 children who have lost one or both parents, providing them with a sponsor, with health care and health education, and by inviting them to a feeding program every Saturday. We have visited the feeding programs on each of our visits to Ethiopia, it is an experience unparalleled to any other. I would love to post pictures of all the beautiful children with their huge smiles, but the government of Ethiopia is sensitive about pictures of orphans and poverty (not that they read my blog, but just to be safe I won't post any). I can post one of us serving, which was an experience that flooded me with an emotion that I guess I'd say was humility as well as gratitude to be able to serve, grounded in the reality that I had no control over where I was born.

The last part of Birtukan's vision that she told us about back in 2009 was to build a vocational school for older sponsor children and widows. Birtukan and Nesibu have been working on getting land donated for over 2 years with no progress, meanwhile the rent in Addis Ababa, the capitol of Ethiopia, has increased exponentially as foreign nations begin investing in and building up land. The cost of rent is stressing the means of YM.

A group of families in the US have joined together to form the Future Hope Campaign to raise money for Yezelalem Minch to purchase land. The land would be used for their offices, the orphanage, the saturday feeding program, community showers, and a training facility so that orphans and widows can learn a trade (coffee roasting, sewing, hand crafts etc.) and break the cycle of poverty.

This Saturday, July 16th Greg and I are throwing a fundraiser here in Washington:
$20/ticket for 2 drinks, dessert, a DJ and art exhibits by local artists.
220 West Champion street, suite 200, Bellingham, WA (North West Plaza building)
from 7-9pm
If you are local to Bellingham I hope you will join us, If you are not local but want to support a great cause please consider visiting the future hope web site and making a tax deductible donation (95% of donations go directly to YM) or purchasing a YM t-shirt (designed by our talented friend Shiloh).
This is an organization we are deeply passionate about and truly believe is working for the good of the destitute in Ethiopia, keeping children out of orphanages and with their families.

Bini Bytes

2011-06-30T23:59:00.000-07:00

Bini is wonderfully two. He's got a big personality and we so appreciate the laughter he brings into our days. He's a talkative little guy and people are always commenting on how clearly he speaks, I don't know if he necessarily speaks more that most kids his age or if he's just so much bolder (and louder) than most and will speak around strangers.
"I'm Biniyam, I'm clever" was said to a man in the park this week and "how's it going, I'm 5" was to the man in the car next to us at a red light. Yep, he's claiming to be 5 these days and he's no longer "beebum" which makes me a teensy bit sad.

His intonation can make even his most simple question amusing "can I have soME? his voice goes way up at the end of questions.

"I'm a beautiful Panda!" He tells us this all the time, and if he's feeling terribly two it's followed by his angriest "OKAY!?" to which the only proper response is "Yes Biniyam, it is quite obvious that you are a beautiful panda!"

"Can I drive?" he asks me this so often that I just have to admire his optimistic persistence. And of course I can't let him drive or I'd miss the moments in my day that brings me so much delight- when I catch him playing air guitar in the rare view mirror. Eyes closed, tongue out, left arm high in the air - dude, my boy rocks that air guitar!

And I just love the car conversations

"Ella, Ella, are you a Rhino?"
"No Biniyam I am not a Rhino"

"Ella, Ella, are you a Giraffe?"
"No Bini, I"m not it Giraffe"

"Ella, Ella, are you a dinosaur?"
"No Bini, I am not a dinosaur."

"Ella, Ella are you a bumblebee?"
"No Bini, I'm not a bumblebee?"

......Ella was exasperated, I was amused.

And he's picking out letters everywhere now "Momia, I see an H, h says hhh."
He's dubbed me "momia" now, I feel so fancy.
(and he's learned his letters not from his momia but from watching Leapfrogs talking letter factory)

Bini's most famous line right now, know and mimicked by our friends, is what he yells whenever he falls or bumps into something, after he coughs, sometimes through tears and often for no apparent reason at all, is "I'm Okay!"

His cheerful "good morning!" is used as his greeting throughout the day.

And he says an exuberant "yum, yum, I'll have some!" whenever food is offered.

When given an open banana in the peel he gets so excited "like a big boy!"

He's begun singing "God is so good" but mimicking Mekdes's accent "God is so gooood" and every once and a while he'll throw out an Amharic word

He's told me twice when he needs to use the potty and then actually used it.

Those times this was his conversation as i sat on the floor near him waiting.

"Mommy, mommy close your eyes"

"no peeking"

"no peeking mommy!"

"no looking"

"no looking mommy!"(repeat these lines for about 10 minutes)

I sat with my eyes closed until I heard the sound of success.

Here he is calling his grandmas to brag about being a big boy

and with Dad cheering on the Bruins

Spring in the NW means slugs everywhere, and Bini gets excited about each one! "I see a slug!" "Can I hold it, can I touch it!" Slug slime is not easy to scrub off little hands! I prefer worms and snails. Bini and Mekdes gathered 7 snails one rainy afternoon and have kept them on the deck for the past few weeks. Bini loves playing with them!

The snail is driving Bini's truck.

One evening the kids were playing in the girls room and Bini began crying so loudly that I thought he was hurt, I raced to him only to find this....

Bini all dressed up. I began laughing, scooped him up, and brought him to the living room where everyone burst into laughter. Once Bini realized he was getting laughs he raised his hands in the air "I look great!" And now he's agreeable to being their "live doll"

at least for a few minutes before he removes the tiara and wields it around like a sword.

More Ethiopia

2011-06-09T22:56:00.000-07:00

Our girls Wed morning

This is the Family Morning Coffee Guesthouse where we stayed. If you get the chance to be in Ethiopia I can not give a higher recommendation for lodging. Meeting the amazing owners, Birtukan and Nesibu, and being inspired by the work they do for widows and orphans through their NGO Yezalelem Minch, is a remarkable experience. http://familymorningcoffeeguesthouse.com/

Out for a walk, we saw a donkey

some goats

and some cows wandering down the street.

We walked down to a field hoping to find a place to play soccer. Here are some homes near the field.

I had read that dressing similar to your child can help them identify with being part of your family, thus the matching outfits. I had also read that having a "family motto" could help in building family identity so we'd put our hands on top of each others and say "1,2,3, silly Sunds" I'm amazed by how much all our kids love this!

An Ethiopian Feast at the guesthouse, Yum!! There wasn't a meal at the guesthouse Ella didn't eat, one night when she was really tiered I tried feeding her some plain white rice and she didn't want it. Then I offered her some spiced Ethiopian rice and she ate two servings. All the food at the guesthouse was amazing.

Two sweet girls who were pretending to be asleep but couldn't stop laughing.

Thursday was a holiday so we spent all day at the guesthouse.

Mekdes, Ella and Birtukan's daughter Sami painted their toe nails

Thursday night two of the families who had been staying with us left with their newly adopted children for the states. I think that seeing them leave was emotionally confusing for Mekdes, why are they leaving and she's not, and the reality of the "big change" as we call the adoption, "Telique lout" in Amharic. Ella and Mekdes watched a movie on the laptop Thursday before bed, when it was time to shut off the movie Mekdes began to pout and would not lie down, we told her it was time for bed, she understood what we wanted but she got up, got her leapster and turned it on, we took it away and told her it was time for bed. She wouldn't lay down. I had to pick her up, lay her down, and then lay down to go to sleep beside her. She sat up and started pealing the nail polish off her toes. I layed her down again and rested my arms around her and could feel her silently crying, "big change" My heart was broken for her and the overwhelming experience she was living. She finally took a drink of her water and burped. I giggled and mimicked her burp, she giggled and through the universal language of burps and laughter harmony was restored and she was soon asleep.

Friday was a difficult day (and when I write about the behavior we've experienced through this transition of Mekdes into our family please understand that this is expected with older child adoption, her world has been turned upside down and she has no control. )
She woke up and immediately took the chocolate out of my suitcase, "no, we're going up to breakfast" Greg explained in Amharic. Lip curl, narrow eyes, shoulders up turned, her back to us, stiff, would not move. I picked up her stiff body and just talked normally/cheerfully to her and carried her up to breakfast, she relaxed once at the table and ate.

We went to the opulent Sheraton Hotel for a morning in the pools. This was her first time at a pool so we weren't sure how she'd react, she loved it! No fear! She ran right into water. She'd run from one pool to another and we'd follow. She kept trying to drink the water. Greg told her the water was bad not to drink it and she said in amharic "No daddy the water is beautiful!!!" Going back through the hotel the girls enjoyed the flowers and the fountains. Although trying to keep Mekdes from picking the flowers was a challenge. Mekdes did not want to hold my hand and would struggle against it, she'd hold Ella's hand and pull her as she raced along.

After the hotel we went out to eat and when I wouldn't let M have my coffee she again pouted, standing with her back towards the table for a good 20 min. A quick shrug of the shoulders to us when we'd try to talk to her. I finally picked up her stiff body and carried her around the garden talking normally to her showing her all the pretty flowers, soon she was relaxed then hyper, racing around and climbing on decorations that were not for climbing. I ended up picking her up going to the table and telling Greg I needed to take her out to the van and wait there, thankfully everyone was ready to leave by that time and we headed back to the guesthouse. We spent the afternoon at the guesthouse and she wanted nothing to do with us. If we sat near her she would move, if not out of the room then to a spot where her back would be towards us. Thankfully she still wanted to play with Ella so we knew that if she was doing anything dangerous or destructive Ella would come and tell us. Once when she got up to leave the room I entered, I called her. Without looking back she gave me the quick shoulder shrug and kept walking. I went and picked her up and sat her next to me and tried to explain that we understand it's a big change and that we love her, she shrugged, got up and walked away.

At dinner we told Birtukan what had been going on and asked if she'd be willing to talk with Mekdes, they had a good talk and it seemed to help a great deal. Saturday Mekdes was joyfully excited about going to America, we spent the entire wonderful day with Birtukan and her family, visiting the YM soccer team, the feeding program for YM sponsor children and then attending a birthday party for two of Birtukan and Nesibu's sons.

Our flight home began Sat night and Mekdes and Ella both did wonderfully and slept the entire first flight to Amsterdam. When we got home Ella fell asleep on the couch and Mekdes very cutely explored every nook and cranny of our house.
We had ordered some Ethiopian food to be delivered from an Ethiopian women in town who makes food for the farmers market. What a ton of wonderful food! Mekdes ate it for breakfast and lunch over the next two weeks and we recently pulled more out of the freezer for another meal with our Amharic tutor.

I will eventually sit down and write about life in our house over the last 5 weeks. Things are good, but it has not been easy.

First days with Mekdes

2011-05-27T22:20:00.000-07:00

Monday May 2nd we started our day at our adoption agencies offices. Ella was so incredibly excited to go pick up her sister but was impressively good about quietly playing her leapster while we were briefed for our embassy appointment the next day.

Here she is taking some pictures of the goats below, yep that's trash around them, yum

Then we got to go get our girl!

I had really looked forward to dressing her for the first time, to be able to remove her orphanage clothes and put on new ones, her clothes, to begin her new life. During our court visit I found out that her favorite color was red so I brought a red dress, it's still her favorite outfit.

We gave Mekdes gifts to bring around to the nannies and she was able to say her goodbyes to them and to her friends. Her best friend is a girl whom she has been with since entering the orphanage a year ago. I'm so grateful that her friends mother found me through a family we traveled with on our court trip. Her friend will live in the carolinas but we plan to have the girls skype when they are ready.

In the van we gave her a little back pack, she was so excited to have her very own water bottle.

Once back at the guesthouse Greg gave Mekdes the cross necklace he'd bought for her. She kept playing with his necklace during our court visit, so as soon as we found out we'd passed court and she was really going to be ours he went out and got her one of her own to match his.

Tue was Embassy day

Greg ran out last minute the night before we left to get Mekdes her own leapster, it was a good move.

our family in legos

two silly girls in a tickle fight

Weekend in Awassa

2011-05-19T22:45:00.000-07:00

On Saturday morning I began the 5 hr journey south to the city of Awassa, where Biniyam is from and where Mekdes spent 6 months in her 1st orphanage. Mekdes is actually from about 90 miles west of the city, rural farmland, her father was a farmer.
Our adoption agency wouldn't allow Ella to make the journey south b/c of all the unpredictable aspects of traveling in a developing nation, so Greg stayed in Addis Ababa with her. I had 3 other families, great company, as travel companions.
The purpose of the trip was to meet with a member of Mekdes' birth family, which I did on Sat night and I'm so grateful that I had that opportunity! It was a bit surreal to sit there with someone who is so important in my daughter life and to feel the weight of this opportunity, that being in their presence will only last a short time. I had all my questions organized and ready, yet we were talking through two translators, both were nannies and neither one speaking much english. I'd ask a question "what was Mekdes's father like, can you tell me about him?" and the translators and family member would talk for about 3 min. and then finally say to me "he's dead." I didn't gain much new knowledge, but each morsel I did get is like gold! (and I videotaped the meeting so hopefully I can get better translation later) The biggest, most obvious part of the meeting that I can share with Mekdes as she grows up is that she was absolutely adored by her first family. The only thing we were allowed to give at the meeting was a photo album. I filled it with pictures of Mekdes and a few of us and our home. The photos album was held to the chest, and the pictures of Mekdes were kissed over and over again while saying her name. It makes me so sad, this world is so broken in that Mekdes had to leave her beloved family. It reiterates to me why supporting programs like Yezelalem Minch http://www.yezelalemminch.org/ are so important, so families can stay together.
And now that I'm all emotional I'll share some pictures from the weekend.

stopped for lunch at Sabata resort

The city of Awassa, notice how clean the streets and median are compared to Addis

An orthodox church, I love all the white scarves!

Breakfast overlooking lake Awassa

boat ride

Monkeys!

this was a nice monkey I met after my encounter with the mean one so I was thinking "wow, your pretty close to my jugular"

huge ugly birds

The road back to Addis Ababa

We returned on Greg's birthday so I bought him a cake at Kaldi's, does it look familiar?

The day our girls met

2011-05-17T22:06:00.000-07:00

We arrived in Ethiopia on a Thursday night and on Friday were able to go to the orphanage to spend some time with Mekdes. So here are some pict. of April 29th the day Ella and Mekdes met....

The girls warmed up to each other immediately they chased each other around, kicked the ball back in forth, and picked flowers.

Mekdes in March

2011-05-13T14:30:00.000-07:00

I have yet to download our pictures from this trip to Ethiopia, but here are a few from our court trip back in March.

"foofa"= balloon (she seems to use it for bubbles too)

And here's one that's been our screen saver for the past few months, taken by another traveling family.

A few side notes:
We introduced Mekdes to Summit (our dog) last night, he'd had an extended stay at my in-laws because we thought she'd be afraid of him. She isn't! It didn't take long before she was chasing him around the house and trying to ride him.

I did decide to get the rabies vaccine, I talked to the CDC last monday, then the local health department and the consensus was that although the risk of rabies transmission from a scratch is low, it is present (esp. since rabies is known to be carried by the type of monkey that scratched me and because I was feeding the monkey, therefore, we can guess he'd been licking his paws- increasing the risk) So, because I don't want to spend the next few months to a year wondering if my confusion in due to rabies or just being a mother to 3, I (with great encouragement from my mother and Greg) decided to get the series of 5 shots.

Home

2011-05-09T21:28:00.000-07:00

We arrived home yesterday, I'm very tired tonight but wanted to post at least one picture of our precious new daughter Mekdes.

Tidbits

2011-05-05T07:08:00.001-07:00

We switched sleeping arrangements again last night. Letting Ella sleep with Greg in the big bed and I slept in twin, letting Mekdes have her own space in the toddler bed. But Mekdes didn't want to sleep in the bed by herself and crawled in with me. I'd been wondering if we were overwhelming her with affection so it was great to see her initiating being close to me. Bed time has been especially fun, and a little wild. Ella and Mekdes get very silly, tickling each other and laughing as they pretend to be asleep or hide under the covers together. More and more of Mekdes's english comes out as she gets comfortable with us, last night she kept saying in english "please sleep, please sleep" and laughing. This was teasing me for the first night when she was sleeping next to me and kept playing with every pen or i -pod on the night stand. I'd kept saying in Amharic "Mekdes, you need to sleep, please"
after the girls finally settled down last night and all was quiet Mekdes's little voice said "ewedeshalu Ella" and Ella said "ewedeshalu Mekdes" back, starting an Ethiopian- Waldens like goodnights around the room.

Ella is so excited about having a little sister that she'll follow Mekdes around and get overly excited whenever Mekdes learns a new english word or washes her hands on her own after using the bathroom. It can be a bit hard to watch Ella call
Mekdes a few times and be ignored or want Mekdes to play and Mekdes just wanders off, we're trying to explain Ella that Mekdes isn't used to all this attention or being a family (and she really is doing exceptionally well)
So yesterday afternoon it worked well that Greg and Ella went to visit our sponsor child at her home while Mekdes and I went to the Bethany offices to get her passport, by time we got back to the guesthouse Mekdes was running inside calling for
Ella and "da-deee" (love how she says that!) and in the evening Ella played ball outside with another family as Mekdes spent a long time playing with my hair and talking/singing with Birtukan.

Birtukan and Nesibu's beautiful children are now singing for us so I'm going to go enjoy the fun.
Give Bini extra hugs from me, miss him so much! The nannies in Awassa totally remebered him, when I pointed to his picture on the wall they said "oh, Biniyam Ajullo" and when I showed them pictures of him now they got "his nanny" and she kissed the photo album and they all seemed very joyfull to see him so big.

I also got scratched by a monkey in Awassa, Greg had me a bit scared about Rabies for a bit, but I'm pretty sure I'll be fine.

Ewedeshalu

2011-05-04T02:24:00.001-07:00

We changed sleeping arrangements tonight and all slept better, Mekdes and I slept together in the big bed with Greg and Ella sleeping in a twin and toddler bed we moved into the room. I slept till Mekdes fell out of the bed around 5, she let me scoop her up and kiss her and then wrap my arms around her as she fell back to sleep. I, then being awake, went into the living room area outside of our room to read my Bible. When I came back into the room an hr later Mekdes said "mommy!" and reached out her arms so I layed next to her and she wrapped her arms around me and gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek. Ella joined us on my other side and I layed there in utter joy being snuggled by both of my girls. I have to make sure that if I kiss one of the girls on the forehead I'd turn and kiss the other. Trying to keep all affection evenly distributed.

Mid morning we were out for a walk and Mekdes looked at me and said "I love you" in clear english and totally unsolicited. We've been saying "ewedeshalu" (I love you in Amharic) to her and occasionally she'll say it back to us. I really don't expect her to in any way have love for us, we are still strangers to her, so all of her warmth to us bring a dose of extra joy & surprise.

She can be a bit cold to Greg, which is hard to see, but we know her father died of maleria when she was very little so she may not have had much exposure to men.
We have been studying Amharic with a tutor and Ethiopian student at WWU every other week for months. Greg loves learning languages and done an incredible job learning Amharic, he's working on sentance structure and tenses, and can read words in the Amharic alphabet. I've been memorizing phrases. All of this has been extreemly helpful in our comunication with her, here and during the court visit. Greg is downstairs right now helping her use the leapster by translating game instructions.

Mekdes has been looking in books and pointing to pictures saying "mommy, daddy, Mekdes, Ella, Biniyam" as she points to either people or animals in the pictures. I love how she is seing us a unit/family. This led to lots of laughter last night between her and Greg. Greg would say "Mekdes is a cat" and she'd laugh and say "daddy is a table" back and forth, very cute.

Time for lunch, Birtukan (or rather Mimi and Ganet) have prepared a wonderful Ethiopian feast, will be the first Ethiopian food I've eaten since being here

M is for.....

2011-05-03T07:37:00.001-07:00

Mekdes, our new darling daughter. Today we finished the final step of our adoption here in Ethiopia, our embassy apointment.
Here's a few more details about Mekdes, or Mekdi as we often call her, her name- which was given to her by her adoring birth parents, means Holy of Holies. Her birthday is in September and she is 5 years old. She's been in the orphanage for over a year, she'd already been there 6 months when we got her referral. She's gained 13 lbs in the past year and grown 4 inches. English will be her 3rd language.
In meeting with her social worker yesterday we were told that she prays often for the Lord to guide her path, for the other children in the orphanage to find families, and for her church in America, that she can be a part of a church.

Mekdes and Ella have spent the day in non stop play, running all over the guesthouse playing with the other children. Mekdes seems to favor me over Greg for now and even gives me unsolicited kisses.
Mekdes just brought flowers in from the yard and tucked it behind Ella's ear. We are so enjoying this time with our daughters and are so glad that we brought Ella with us!!

Our 2 Girls

2011-05-02T22:38:00.001-07:00

Slept between my 2 girls last night, tired but so happy. M is so beautiful, so excited about everything, not shy at all. She was given a bag of goodies by one of the parents at the orphanage and immediately opened the bag and gave Ella the 1st piece of candy, Greg 2 stickers and for me she unwrapped a piece of candy. Our girl who's had nothing of her own gave away what was given to her. We are so blessed!!

Back in Addis

2011-04-28T12:35:00.001-07:00

Hello from Addis Ababa, in our hearts this is our second home, we just LOVE it here, the smells the sights and especially the people. After 24hrs of travel, one sick Ella on the plane (poor girl, she feels fine now) and 2 lost pieces of luggage we were embraced by Birtukan and Nesibu and that makes it all good!
Greg got an e-mail Tue morning asking if we could leave Wed and arrive Thur for an embassy apt next week. We jumped into high gear and left Wed morning. Tomorrow we get to go visit M at the orphanage and Monday we pick her up!

One of the most amazing parts of all this to me is that back in Jan, before receiving our court date Ella had woken up one morning and told us she'd had a dream that we went to pick up M in April. She asked if that was when we'd go and I told her I didn't know but that she could pray about it. Later that day she told me she'd prayed about it and God said "wait and see"
And here we are picking M up in April! And because of having Ella's dream in the back of my mind we'd gotten ready and were able to leave on a days notice.

Ella has been a wonderful traveler and we love seeing her experience Africa for the first time.

By the Book

2011-04-17T20:54:00.000-07:00

"Mom, are you going to wear that all day? It's so boring" Said on a day I was wearing jeans and a white t-shirt by a daughter wearing 4 different patterns.

Ella is known for her artistic and independent fashion sense. A mom of Ella's schoolmate told me that she gets a daily report on what Ella wore. One day she'll wear a black velvet dress and fake pearls, the next day a vertically striped skirt with horizontally striped sox- and most of the time, to my astonishment, it works. I'll sometimes give suggestions and they're usually met with a polite and succinct refusal in favor of what she has chosen. I love that she isn't influenced by others opinions and, as long as her clothes are weather appropriate, we are happy to let her express herself through fashion.

Over the last few weeks she has been dressing "by the book" one of Bini's books about colors. She'll flip open the book to a page and whichever color is on that page is the color she will wear that day. Scattered throughout the book are "rainbow" days, our favorite.

Here are some recent outfits.

Rainbow day in her Kandinsky like dress (she just learned about Kandinsky in school)

a brown day -and yes, our daughter does have an inordinate amount of cheetah print clothing, missing here is her faux fur cheetah print coat.

rainbow days

the pants in this one are brown w/ white polka dots

Green day

Purple day, hitting the roller skating rink for the first time with buds Eli and Mia, check out the tiny skates on Bin, so cute and so difficult- esp on a mama's back!

2 Steps Closer

2011-04-16T02:02:00.000-07:00

We got a very exciting e-mail yesterday letting us know that they have already obtained M's new birth certificate and passport! I'm amazed that it took less than 2 weeks from us passing court for them to get these. The next step is for them to submit our paperwork to the embassy and then we wait to be assigned a embassy date- which is when we get to travel and bring her home!
A family we had traveled with to court (and they passed on our 2nd court date) is in Ethiopia now picking up their daughter. Looking at their time line makes me think we could be traveling really soon. But then again, this is international adoption and snags can jump up anywhere.

What you doing?

2011-04-12T23:24:00.000-07:00

This is what Biniyam's been doing at 2year 2months:
Asking "what you doing" All the time
Asking "Why" to anything you say to him
Asking "Whose that" to anyone you pass in the car, in the store, etc.

When watching the movie Up for the first time he got so excited when the balloons started bursting out of the roof of the house that he started kicking his feet and yelling "balloon, LIKE IT!!"

When rocking him before bed I'll say "I love you" and he'll make the most wonderful sound out of the back of his throat, a soft grunt of recognition, which he only make to those words, so I say them ever few minutes. One night when we were doing this I said "I love you" and he lifted his head off my chest looked at me and said "know that."

When asked what he wants to eat he'll say "eat bugs!" and I'll ask if we should eat spiders or worms, it's a conversation we have daily, he always chooses worms....

After Greg and Pubah let him help fix the dishwasher by letting him hold his hand on the electric screwdriver he stood up pointed to the dishwasher and claimed "I made that!"

Tonight he asked Greg for a piece of gum (he has never had gum, but he ask for it by name) Greg said "no" so Bini looked at him and said "bad attitude!" which absolutely cracks me up because it's what I've been telling him lately when he says NO to me

He says "nicely" in the place of please "mommy, apple nicely"

He lines up his cars "traffic" he tells me

He, when given a doll to play with took off the doll's shoes and pretended that they were cars.

He fills his pockets with rocks that clang in my dryer and it makes me smile because I just love having a boy so much more than I ever imagined I would!

The Knight and the Pegasus Unicorn

2011-04-08T19:25:00.000-07:00

Dessert Anyone?

2011-04-07T07:37:00.000-07:00

One day as we had Ella and Bini squished between Greg and I in a family hug I began pecking at the kids cheeks with kisses saying "Yum, and Ella and Bini sandwich"
Ella's immediate rebuttal was "Really Mom, it's more like a s'more"

She's Ours

2011-04-02T12:28:00.000-07:00

I'm overjoyed to announce that we got our governmental letter today, we passed court and WE HAVE A NEW DAUGHTER!!! I know I have been holding back my attachment to her in fear that for some reason she would not become ours. Now she is ours, she will come home, hopefully in a few months, and I feel free to daydream about her being home with us and to prepare for her homecoming.
So here's the recap of how we got here:
July 2009- when in Ethiopia picking up Biniyam, after a sleepless night, no electricity, and when stepping out of a cold shower, Greg announced "I have the plan for our next adoption" A girl to fit between Ella and Bini and we'd start the process in one year.
Then Ella was sick and I thought our plans would change, but it was Ella who kept talking about her sister. She'd see things like a towel with 5 fish and say "Hey look, it's our family, mom, dad, me, Bini and my sister."
In February 2010 we got re-fingerprinted for Biniyam's re-adoption and that became the beginning our our paper work for M. (when Greg reads "our" he's going to laugh, I do no paperwork, Greg does it all and I am so very grateful for this!!)
By the end of September we sent off our paperwork. I had feared starting this adoption before Ella had been clear of cancer for one year, but Greg's fears were in the rapid rising popularity of Ethiopian adoption and what changes that would bring to the process so we stepped out in faith.
By October 8th our paperwork had reached Ethiopia and we were officially waiting for a girl age 3-5.
On October 20th we got "the call" a referral for M a beautiful 5 year old girl, smiling in every picture. I'd anticipated the referral coming a bit faster than Bini's (which took 9 months,) but never did I think it would only be 12 days! She had already been living in the orphanage for 6 months.

And then the wait, and court and court again and now she is legally ours! Now in Ethiopia they will work on getting her a new birth certificate & a passport. We will then be assigned a date with the US embassy to receive her visa and bring our girl home.

1 Year Cancer Free!

2011-03-27T14:57:00.000-07:00

One Year!!! It feels like a very big milestone for us that Ella has reached her one year FREE from cancer, chemo and her pesky port. Praise God! I love being past the one year mark for many reasons but among them are that we know recurrence is most likely to happen around 10 months, and it didn't. We also know that recurrence which happens after one year has a better overall prognosis.
We had her appointment at children's 2 weeks ago (yes, behind in my blogging as usual)
Ella's wonderful nurse practitioner, stated "everything looks great" as she walks through the door to begin our appointment, I love that she never makes us hold our breath for a moment longer than we need to as we anticipate with uncertainty the results. Ella had had a week of complaining of stomach pain since her last scans. That week was also accompanied by a fever. The fever was probably due to her cold/cough and the stomach pain to constipation but it wrenches our guts, the deja vu of those complaints and my rationalizing them. I spend a lot of time praying "Lord if this is something we need to know about make it clear to us, if it is nothing make it go away completely!" Meanwhile charting her every trip to the bathroom and giving her a laxative. Her complaints and fever went away completely.
Look at this girl, hard to believe she ever had cancer.

an outfit we found in a Souk in Dubai, in the second photo check out Bini, our little mimic wants to show off his belly too.

Where our hope lies

2011-03-19T14:37:00.000-07:00

We did not pass court again this week. It was expected but still difficult. When we returned from Ethiopia we were met with depressing news, rumors and speculations related to cut backs in the Ethiopian adoption system, happening right at the point where we are, with the piece of paper we are missing. We are dealing with the reality that it could take much longer than expected to get our daughter home.

So in this week as Greg sought knowledge by scurrying the internet and I sought comfort by looking at the world beyond (Japan) to clarify my perspective that our daughter remaining longer in an orphanage is not that bad. I needed to stop and ask myself "where does our hope lie?"

Where does our hope lie? Is it in the court system, or our adoption agency? In gaining more knowledge or in forming a clear perspective? No, our hope lies in God. If everything with this adoption, with our lives, with the world WAS worse case scenario could I still have hope? And what is it that I would hope in? We believe that God is sovereign over EVERYTHING. We believe that the reason we exist is to bring God glory, and that is what we want more than anything. So our hope lies in that God, by his sovereign grace, will used even the worse imaginable scenario for good, for his glory and for a better outcome in the long run than we could ever imagine or may ever see. Our hope is also in this, that no matter what we go through in this world, this world is only temporary, and we will dwell with Christ in paradise for all eternity.

"So the lesson of Joseph-and the whole Bible-stands: When delays and detours and frustrations and opposition ruin our plans and bode ill for us, faith in future grace lays hold on the sovereign purpose of God to bring something magnificent to pass. That is the key to patience." Battling Unbelief by John Piper

Living in two time zones

2011-03-16T23:08:00.000-07:00

My mind is in Addis Ababa tonight, In about an hour the courts will open there and our agency will represent us in our second attempt to pass court. We're told our chances of passing are slim, but I hold out hope and pray that all missing components will come together for a positive outcome. As my mind is in Addis, I figured I'd post a few pictures from our trip. I can't yet post pictures of our daughter, but here are some of life around the city.

The city has made great improvements since our last visit in 2009, the roads are wider so it seems that there is less fume filled traffic, the medians are being beautified, police officers were often directing traffic through busy intersections (where before it seemed like chaos) Many new buildings are being built and many people were busy at work on these projects.

The "scaffolding" remains the same- sticks

ahh, "Buna," an Amharic word for coffee that is often used in our household, even by Ella and Bini. The Ethiopians are credited with discovering this heavenly beverage.

Can you find the donkey under all this hay? hint- his head is to the right

more donkeys walking on the road

a shopping area

Ready for a coffee ceremony- first the beans are roasted (in pan to left) then ground and heated with water in the clay pot above.

Bummer

2011-03-04T21:38:00.002-08:00

We did not pass court yesterday, calling it a bummer is a major understatement. There are many pieces that need to be gathered for court and circumstances beyond the control of our agency led to those pieces not coming together. They will try again in two weeks. We will not need to travel for that court date. It is very difficult leaving M and not having a good guess on when we'll be able to return for her.

Meeting M

2011-03-01T10:45:00.001-08:00

Hello,
Greetings from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. We arrived yesterday afternoon and after having at the guest house we were able to go to the orphanage and meet M. When we arrived she was sitting outside with two other boys receiving their english lesson from a tutor. She came down off the patio and took my hand and smiled up at us, such a beautiful smile! We spent the afternoon playing with her and then 20 or so other children at the orphanange. Today we were able to return and spend almost all day playing with the children.
I have so much to say and yet this computer is acting up and it's taking me forever to type this little bit. But the big point is M is wonderful she smiles and laughs easily and we feel so blessed that she will be our daughter. And a note for those who looked at her referral photo with me and guessed about her hair, she has big curls (like Judson's) not tight curls like Bini's, this makes my learning hair care much easier!

Hanging in the UAE, Dubai

2011-02-27T09:55:00.000-08:00

I must start by saying that Greg has not been exaggerating when he speaks of the comforts of flying Emirates airline. It was a mini vacation in the sky! For 15 hrs. I played video games and watched movies on the seat back in front of me ( I'm recommending everyone watch Africa United) I slept, read (Cutting Stone) and when the pilot came on to announce we were landing my first thought was "not yet!"
We did land in Dubai, where Greg and I had decided to stay 2 nights on an extended layover.
Today we explored the city. I am just amazed at how clean Dubai is, and at how empty it feels.
We began our day exploring the Souks in the old part of the city. There are little shops lining the streets and men outside trying to entice you in. We explored the gold souk, the textile souk, the perfume souk, and the spice souk. The spice souk was by far my favorite. Baskets lined the streets filled with brightly colored herbs and spices and the sellers were friendly, readily explaining what everything was.
We then took a rickety old water taxi across Dubai Creek to the old part of town where I got to ride a camel!! I was so excited (Ella can you believe it!) It was so cool! After that we took a long walk by the creek to the metro line and traveled to the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world. Unfortunately it would cost $150 to go the top of the building so we opted for photos at the bottom and then exploring the opulent mall of Dubai which houses pretty much every high end store you can imagine as well as an aquarium and ice skating rink. By 4pm we were at the amazing Burj Al Arab Hotel, which is on a man made island in the Arabian Gulf and is shaped like a huge sail. We'd made reservations for tea at the restaurant at the top of the hotel. The view was amazing, we could see the man made islands in the shape of a palm tree and had a great view of the city. The tea lasted 2.5 hrs and I was so full that at the end I couldn't even eat the delicious chocolates they brought as a last course.
We finished our day at the mall of the Emirates where we watched but didn't participate in Ski Dubai, the indoor ski slope.
Tomorrow morning we continue our journey to Ethiopia, we are so excited to meet "M" and experience the sweet personality others have told us about for ourselves.

Headed to Ethiopia

2011-02-25T05:33:00.001-08:00

This is a little Blogger test to see if I can blog via e-mail. We're headed off to the airport soon on our way to meet our daughter in Ethiopia! Our court date is March 4th, please pray that we pass. We won't get to bring her home at this time but if all goes smoothly we hope to be allowed to return in a few months and scoop her up!

LOVE

2011-02-14T21:38:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1st Corinthians 13:4-7

It's official, He's 2!

2011-02-13T20:18:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Biniyam! On Feb 7th our sweet boy turned 2.

His day began by opening his gift from Ella

For breakfast he requested a "breakfast cookie" In Bini's daily list of requests, breakfast cookies come second only to chocolate ice cream. We took the opportunity to sing Happy Birthday to him at each meal.

For dinner his friend Judson and Lilli (and their siblings Emma and Owen) joined the celebration.

Pizza!

Ella, as the self appointed head of the party planning committee, decided we'd make puppy cake pops instead of regular cake (she got the cake pops cookbook for her birthday) They were delicious! Cake mixed with frosting, made into balls and dipped in chocolate, yumm... and of course served with chocolate ice cream!

This weekend I decided to try twist in Bini's hair, and thanks to his new found interest in TV I was able to get him to sit somewhat still for the 40 min. it took to do them. I think he looks pretty cool.

Beebum

2011-02-09T22:12:00.002-08:00

Our little man is growing so fast, and it's hard to get a picture of him that's more than the top of his head or a blurred shot of a boy on the move. I have been capturing him on video and also keeping a journal on our counter so I can jot down the cute things that he says in this amusing stage of verbal development.
Here are some of my favorite Bini quotes and antics:
*When I placed his lunch in front of him "No thank you mama, chocolate ice cream"
*When I asked where his sock went "humm.... wonder.... hiding"
* Whenever he sees one of us writing something he'll try to look at the paper and then say "awe, cute"

*Whenever we/he puts shoes on he says "ballet shoes on!" (and he loves putting Ella's shoes on!)

*Whenever I cough he says "bless you mama"
*When he says bless you or thank you he always says the person's name "Thank you Ella" it's very cute and he's very polite (when he's not screaming for what he wants.)
*He often says "(ex)cuse me mama" before he asks for something.
* My all time favorite is when he reaches for me and says "rock a baby" this he says when he's sleepy or wants to cuddle and we'll wrap his blanket around him and he melts into us.
* He narrates his life, which is pretty nice "trash, trash trash" means I better check what he's put in the trash and "water, water" means he's headed toward the dog's bowl.
* When asked what his name is he always says "Go" but when he sees a picture he'll point to himself and say "beebum"
*After a song is finished, whether on a cd or in music class, if he enjoyed it he's shout "woo, hoo, song!"
* "I do it!" I must have heard this one a million times today! sometimes followed my temper tantrums if it is indeed something he's not allowed to do.
*When I pick him up he'll say "Heavy!" I am now being careful not to say this every time I pick him up. But on the upside of repeating what I say, when I do his hair he now says "nice hair" (and he does have great hair!)
*He loves to sing, Ella taught him a song from school (which she does sign language to) "apple, apple, a, a, a"(going through the alphabet and making the letter sound) Bini has taken that to the extreme he uses it to sing throughout his day "blanket, blanket, b,b,b, diaper, diaper, d,d,d, shoes, shoes, ballet shoes on, door, door, ddd, car, car, c,c,c..." he doesn't always get it right but he's just so cheerful as he sings.
* "1,2,4,5,7,9,10" remarkably consistent in his inaccurate counting.
* He now knows most of his colors and he loves to point them out, especially "YELLOW!" (he was on a kick in november when I must have heard yellow 500 times a day, usually pointing to thing that were not yellow)
* He loves to sing ABC's; much like his counting he gets the general tune and skips many chunks of letters
* He likes to eat grapefruit, but wont eat a hot dog.
* He's the kid who stands on the little slide in the play area at the mall waving and shouting "HI" to everyone who passes. (our boy is sweet but he is not shy and he is very loud!)
* I pulled into a parking lot and heard Bini say "ouch, hurt" me-"Bini, what's wrong" b-"ears" I turned to see him with his arm over his face "window" he said. I realized the sun was shining through the window into his eyes, I find this so amusing because he has become such a northwest babe.

Fun with friends, Emma, Ella, Judson, Bin, and Lilli

oh, we have plans for these two!

finally got some pictures of him!

He loves being a "big helper"

still shorter than Summit

Oh, nice tiger stripes Bini!

Festivities & Fun to Finish 2010

2011-01-12T21:22:00.000-08:00

We began our festivities by attending the Christmas eve service at our church. Ella sang with the children's choir and Biniyam enjoyed multiple cookies in an attempt to keep him from shouting "Jingle Bells" too loudly. ( at a recent library story time Bini jumped and danced around the room yelling "jingle bells" over and over again. It was hilarious but a bit disruptive and we will not be attending story time again anytime soon!)

as per Christmas tradition both kids opened a present on Christmas eve.

and left cookies for Santa (Ella does know, but likes the traditions)

Christmas morning arrived with a mellow Ella, she just wanted to cuddle and listen to the story of Christ's birth, we finally convinced her to open her stocking. It's so fun to see her excitement about little things- like the pink stapler which she has been talking about since she saw it last summer.

Finally at 8:45 Ella and I woke Bini. Ella later told us her favorite part of the day was seeing Bini's reaction to his train table. And Bini did love his train table, to change his diaper I had to pry him away from it as he yelled "trains, trains"

"Books are toys"-Ella

Auntie Deb and Uncle Cecil joined us for dinner

Greg and My greatest surprise of the day was that Ella can hula hoop! She asked for one, but we had no idea she could actually do it. Apparently she learned in ballet.

One week after Christmas came another very important day, most people just know it as New Years Eve, but to us it's Ella's Birthday. Happy 6th Birthday to our sweet princess!

Ella really wanted to have her birthday party on her birthday so after a morning at Chuck-E-Cheese we had her friend Clara over, they had a treasure hunt, pinata, dinner (steak and mac-n-cheese) decorated cupcakes and then had a "half over" - where they got in pj's and all ready for bed and then got to watch a movie as if it were a sleep over, but then Clara went home to sleep.

On New Years day we headed south to Greg's cousins, It was great spending time with family!

We went to North West trek- kind of a Safari of north west animals. That's a beaver behind Ella above, and wolves below, we also went on a bus to see moose, elk, long horned sheep, bison, and more.

Greg's cousin has horses!

Ella loves horses!

Ella, Elise and Biniyam

"Squeak!"

2010-12-24T00:36:00.000-08:00

Our little ballerina made her Nutcracker debut this year as an adorable mouse. It seems like just yesterday that she was attending the nutcracker, full of questions and awe (see the post from 2008
The Nutcracker ) This past weekend she squeaked and danced in two performances at the Mt Baker Theater.

Celebrating @ Pure Bliss

In other December activities; Ella's kindergarten class went on a field trip to the local ice skating rink. I had to wake Bini early from his nap, but I couldn't miss seeing Ella on skates for the very first time. Love this girls gusto for trying new activities.

Lots of baking for this princess, and lots of asking for chocolate and cookies from the little man. (And he asks so sweetly! "'cuse me mama, please chocolate" and "tank you mama, tank you, welcome")

And December 23rd consisted of waking @ 8:30, (LOVE my kids!) making hats out of napkins before breakfast.

Long bath and then cuddling in warm blankets

coloring together then more cookie baking while Bini napped.

again, why do we bother with toys? Here's some good, classic, box fun.

reading together (then a playdate)

more box fun.

and delivering cookies to the neighbors

Kenya

2010-12-17T23:46:00.000-08:00

Greg spent the first 3 weeks of November in Kenya serving at Tenwek Hospital. Although he did take pictures @ the hospital, they are mostly medical and just not pretty. Above are a few of the photos he took durning his last two days in the country when he was able to go on Safari.

Why?

2010-12-07T20:17:00.000-08:00

Sometime I wonder why we bother with toys, all the kids want are blankets and couch cushions!

Rockin' the good health

2010-12-06T20:42:00.000-08:00

Ella ready for a daddy-daughter date

9 months since chemo ended and this girl is a superstar of health! This week we went to Children's for them to check her out and gratefully we were told that there is no evidence of disease, she looks great. Of course they didn't tell us that until 2 hours after they'd taken 3 extra x-rays and left us wondering what they'd seen. The other scare we had related to her health happened in September I brought her to her regular dr's to catch up on immunizations and mentioned that she'd been complaining of right leg pain. After the dr checked Ella's leg she spoke to me in that too calm voice and told me it wasn't Ella's leg, it was her hip and that they would get an x-ray and I should probably also talk to her oncologist. I spent about 2 hrs with my stomach in knots thinking we could be right back in this again but this time in her bone? We waited for the x-ray results and thankfully it showed nothing abnormal. Two days later Ella couldn't put any pressure on her right leg so I talked with the oncologist. I was to keep an eye on her and if it didn't go away or got worse in a week they'd do an MRI. Praise God it completely resolved in a few days. Tis' our life for the next 4yrs 3 months, going along just fine and then some odd symptom makes us wonder if we're back "in a ding" (Ella's phrase for going through something unpleasant-like chemo)
Otherwise Ella has been doing great. She's only had one runny nose this fall, which is amazing testament to her strong immune system!

Fall in Bellingham

2010-11-30T23:42:00.001-08:00

This fall Greg and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary, which unfortunately also is the anniversary of day we found out Ella had cancer. Many events this fall had me reflecting on where we were a year ago, in what felt like a parallel universe, how a grocery clerks question of "how are you" would leave me dumbfounded as I'd hear myself mumble "fine" and think "I am so not fine, my 4 year old has cancer, but I'm not bad because I am acutely aware of how much worse it could be!" One of toughest days for me last fall was my birthday. I remember Ella singing and dancing and I was on the verge of tears wondering if she'd be around to celebrate another birthday. Praise God she is here! She is vibrant! To quote Piper "Life is hard AND God is good!"

Ella loves to read and to cook, here she is reading a cook book for dog biscuits, her specialty.

Durning the fall in the PNW we take advantage of every sunny day by getting outside, knowing it may be the last day of sun we'll see for a very long time! Then once those gray, rainy days do arrive we welcome them, glad for the excuse to stay in, cuddle up and read books.

It's so fun as Bini gets older to see him and Ella play together.

Ella, her pumpkin, and our friends Erin and Johannes (who welcomed a little pumpkin of their own this month, Welcome to the world little Evy!)

we've got to get this kid a trombone!

I need to comment on Bini's outfit for a moment, because just seeing it makes me smile. You can't tell from the pictures but Bini's pants are green and red plaid and his shirt is obviously blue plaid. Greg got him dressed in the morning and when I first saw him I commented on outfit. Greg's response "What? These are my favorite pants and this is my favorite shirt so how could they not go together?" How could I fight with such logic?

Bini loves chickens!

Lost in the cornmaze

Bini will lead the way

Halloween 2010

We went trick or treating Sat. and Sun nights in different areas of town where throngs of kids gather and shopkeepers give out candy. It's fun seeing so many children in costumes and running into friends. One of my favorite moments was when Bini saw a boy dressed as Tigger and began running across the village green yelling "Tigger, Tigger!" the two ended up playing together.

Just for fun, our kids like to pretend they're dogs.

Fall in New England

2010-11-19T22:30:00.000-08:00

Fall in New England with cousins, could it get any better than this? Hunter, Ella, Bini, Logan and Chase playing at Drumlin Farms.

Ella loves being a big sister!

This summer Ella and I started reading American Girl books, so she was very excited to visit the American Girl store and have lunch at the bistro!

Bini and Ella both got to choose a doll from the collection to join them for lunch. What fun!

More fall farm fun. Goats, Pumpkins, tiny apple donuts, yum!

Happy 41st anniversary Mom & Dad! We're so glad we were able to celebrate with you this year!

Boston's Children's Museum is amazing. Bini and Papa spent a lot of time in the ball room.

our boy's getting so big and brave

Cars!

and water fun

On our last night in MA my parents threw me a birthday celebration with lobsters then cake. Papa helped the kids carve the pumpkin. They each took a turn carving one part, even Bini and Logan got Papa pumpkin carving time.

Beautiful Fall in Vermont

We met up in Vermont with two other couples Greg did residency with. The kids had a great time playing together!

Ben & Jerry's Factory!

I was able to spend time with my good friend Christina, we rented bikes and road along Lake Champlain with Bini in tow. I really was amazed by how similar Burlington is to Bellingham

Images of Summer

2010-09-25T12:34:00.000-07:00

We started our summer with a trip to Massachusetts. It was still rainy and cold in WA, but we got our fill of summer heat in MA with temps reaching the 100's.
The highlight of our trip was spending time with our family, my parents, sister Faye, and her boys Hunter (7), Chase (3), and Logan (1 1/2)
We had a great time at an amusement park. It had many rides for the little ones to enjoy. Above Bini and Logan were so cute howling like wolves as they rode the snow cat.
Ella and Hunter have so much fun together!
Ella, Chase and Hunter.

Lots of Mud pies were made!
the 4th of July in Wilmington is a big deal, there's a big carnival and 2 nights of fireworks. Such fun!
on the 4th of July Faye threw us a big BBQ so we could visit with extended family, It was great seeing everyone and watching Ella play with my cousin's kids.
although Logan is only 2 months older than Bini he seemed so much older because Bini wasn't yet walking and Logan had been walking for about 9 months.

having fun in the Children's museum and Boston public gardens

Building blocks with papa at the Science Museum.
In July we spent some time in Whistler

It is so beautiful up there, and there is a ton to do, but we like to take it easy and spend a lot of time in the pool.

In August Greg got the opportunity to travel to Niger with the World Wide Fistula Fund. A women in Niger has a 1 in 7 lifetime chance of dying from a complication of pregnancy and an even greater chance of living with a non fatal complication of pregnancy. Women who have obstructed labor without access to medical care (cesarean) often develop a vesicovaginal fistula which causes them to constantly leak urine. They are subsequently outcasts of society. This surgery is so exciting because it transforms these women's lives.

In late August we were invited to join some of our dearest friends in Tahoe for an amazing week.

Lucas, Izzy and Ella
Greg swimming after jumping from the pier

going up, up, up on the gondola
mountain top swimming

One of my favorite days was when we hiked up to the alpine Angora lakes, such pristine beauty!

The guys and kids are in the boat pictured above.

oh sweet Bini, we so blessed that he'll still nap in the ergo while we're out and about.

We also had a lot of fun this summer around Bellingham
We found an actual sand beach! It amazes me that after living here for 2 years we are still discovering new very beautiful places.
swimming in Lake Samish and hanging out with best buds Izzy and Lucas
They put on the play Cinderella for us
Berries! One of Bini's favorite words to scream, as in "I want more Berries!" we've been enjoying all the local berries, esp. the blackberries in our own back yard.
The image above was taken in Aug. of last year, the one below in Aug of this year. Seeing pictures like these always make my eyes well with gratitude for where we are today and God's grace.

Farm Camp, Farm Camp! So excited for Farm Camp! She had her outfit picked out a week in advance.
Fun on Lake Samish

We drove up to Mt Baker in June and were a bit surprised at all the snow. Bini's first experience with the cold, white, stuff - he's not yet a fan.
howling like a wolf
On the drive to Lumi island we caught this image of a Bald Eagle and Mt Baker.

To finish out the summer Ella attended theater camp at BAAY. She was in the mini performance of the Sound of Music as Sister Agatha and then was able to sing in the Pixy choir for the lager performance a few weeks later.

Kindergarten!

2010-09-10T16:51:00.004-07:00

Ella's first day of kindergarten was today! She is so excited to start the school year and be back with her beloved teachers and friends. Since Ella goes to a montessori school this is her third year in the same classroom, but now she's a "big kid" one of the 10 kindergarteners. She gets to go to school 5 days a week, 2 half days and 3 full days. And that means she gets to have lunch @ school 3 days a week (this is big folks!) You'll see she's posed with her new lunchbox. I have to give props to my friend June for telling me about To-Go-Ware this is a tiffin set and so very "Bellingham" (i.e. environmentally friendly/no plastic) and Ella thinks she looks so "American Girl" (in the book series about Addy lunch is brought to school in a tin)

Ella had a great first day and then we met up with 2 of her friends for lunch, then to piano lessons, then to ice cream at Mallards where Ella used the free coupon she had earned for being a super star reader! I never could have guessed that the summer reading program at the library would be such an inspiration for Ella. After getting her starter kit and assignment to read 15 books she came right home and began reading. At one point when looking for a new book she picked one up and I said "Ella, that's a good one" to which she responded "yes, but I know I can read it and I'm trying to challenge myself" I had to laugh to myself because she was so Greg's child in that moment, he's very studious. I would have picked easy books just to get the list done (yes, shameful but true)
Ella also took on Bini's summer reading assignments which included teaching him opposites and new nursery rhymes. Bini also loves books and loves cuddling up to read, I love this snuggle time with my busy little boy!

Grow Bini Grow!

2010-09-01T16:03:00.006-07:00

Bini had his 18 month Dr's appointment this week

Here are his stats

He weights 28 lbs, that's 80% (for a boy who a year ago wasn't even on the charts!)

and is 33 inches tall, that's 75 % !! Way to grow Bini!!

He is quite a chatty boy! He's using over 75 words regularly and beginning to use longer statements like "Mommy read book" and "Ella come back!"

One of his favorite words is "Ella" and he yells it whenever we're out of the house and he can't see her. It makes us laugh because the way he yells it sounds so much like Marlon Brando yelling "Stella!" in A Street Car named Desire.

He's becoming quite the little comedian. Ella was playing in the yard with friends the other day so Bini did not want to take his nap. I went in the room, picked him out of his crib and said "Bini, you need to sleep ..." to which he reached up grabbed my nose and said "HONK" (I don't know where he learned to do that) and then he sniffed my breath said "pee ewe" and pretended to pass out by tipping himself sideways. (I feel the need to add that I had just brushed my teeth so he was just being silly) Of course when he gets a laugh he repeats the action/ words over and over again.

He also loves to pretend he's a dog. He'll get on his hand and knees, wiggle his body and stick out his tongue. He is such a goof and it's a total answer to prayer (yes, I've prayed my children will have a good sense of humor, I fear I wouldn't know how to relate to a serious child)

After being home for a few months Bini had begun crying for needs to be met, but lately his cry has changed. He is getting to be a toddler and has been throwing some mini temper tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants or when he gets frustrated.

He is also very busy, pulling everything out of cabinets, getting into everything! Somedays I call him my little tornado and just have to remember to be grateful for his curios mind.

A picture of good health

2010-08-12T21:45:00.007-07:00

Ella had her 6 month post chemo check up today at Children's hospital, which consists of an ultrasound, chest X-ray and blood work. Everything checked out great, praise God! There is "no evidence of disease." And, she does look great, in the past 6 months she's grown 2.4 inches so she's now 3ft. 10 inches (she's tall! ) and in the past 3 months has gained 3.7 lbs.

this picture was actually taken a little over a month ago. While in Boston's Public Gardens this butterfly landed on my shoulder, my mother's head and Ella's hand- where it sat for about 15 minutes. She actually continued our walk with the butterfly riding on her hand, as you can imagine it was a thrilling experience for her!

Gotcha Day

2010-07-31T21:26:00.006-07:00

One year ago today we held Biniyam for the first time! And then on August 2 under the darkness of night (the electricity was only one every other day in Ethiopia and it was off that day) we returned from Awassa at 9pm and were allowed to go pick up our son and bring him with us to our guest house. He was awoken and flashlights were shined in his eyes, he was changed out of his clothes into ones we had brought, as the social worker snapping pictures with a bright flash, he was handed to strangers and brought outside into a waiting van, and he didn't make a peep- no crying, just big eyes looking at us and lots of sucking on his ring and middle fingers (his major comfort mechanism.) Our sweet little guy, only 5 months old, must have been so scared!

For me the bonding was instant. Here was my child who I had spoken of, dreamed of since my early 20's "someday I'm going to adopt." I had years of love built up and since he was so little and so peaceful it was easy to place all that love on him and know he was mine. For him it took a bit longer. I think he recognized right away that we were his caregivers but it was a few months before he first rested his head on my shoulder with his face in my neck that wonderful way that babies do.

Today Biniyam is joy and laughter and the most delicious snuggles bundled up into 26 lbs of boy. He is very busy, exploring everything. He is walking now, this was a long time in coming. He took his first steps in June at 16 months and this is the first week that he's been walking more than crawling.

He's doing great at talking, I attribute much of this to his chatty older sister. He'll mimmic most words if asked and although we've been teaching him signs he usually starts saying the word right away (and using the sign, which make it easy for us) He makes animal noises for cow, horse, duck, snake, dog, cat, bear, dinosaur, sheep, fish, monkey, wolf, it's adorable. I love hearing his voice and getting insight into what he's thinking.

Since I never posted pictures of our adventures in the beautiful country of Ethiopia, here are a few
a coffee ceremony
Lalibela, a short flight from the capitol of Addis Ababa, was amazingly beautiful!
It has 11 rock hewn churches cut down into the earth and often connected by tunnels. Monks sit and live around all the churches.

St George's church

a tunnel we went through

a monastery carved into the cliff

This church in Akum is where some Ethiopian claim the Ark of the Covenant is being held, it is guarded by one monk who once assigned the job lives in the church for the rest of his life.
The town where Biniyam was born is known for its college and for its lake. We got to visit the fish market on the lake...
and feed wild monkeys out of our hands! This monkey was holding an adorable baby.
and travel into the lake on one of these sturdy boats to see hippos
Here the women are roasting coffee beans

Sassy!

2010-07-30T21:03:00.004-07:00

When Ella was going through chemo she lost a lot of her hair, but not all of it. So as her hair has grown out she has long strands being pushed up by her new hair. This leaves her looking messy, and a bit like she has mullet. But, she liked her hair long and was adamant that she did not want it cut. And we did not want to press the issue but would bring it up casually every once and awhile to no avail. Well, yesterday her good friend Izzy was over sporting a cute new haircut and told Ella about the salon where she went (and the bowl of candy that was there.) And then I told Ella that if she'd get her hair trimmed I'd take her to Mallards- her favorite ice cream shop. Suddenly she was willing to cut her hair! So jumping on the opportunity we made an appointment and brought her in today.

Her hair before the cut

Loving being pampered at the salon!

So cute!
Her hair is growing in the same color as before but much thicker.

After the cut we then met up with Greg and Bini at Mallards and Ella has enjoyed surprising everyone with her sassy new look.

Wimoweh

2010-06-23T08:39:00.002-07:00

Ella's Make a Wish Trip (part one) Give Kids the World

2010-06-22T21:15:00.004-07:00

I can not rave enough about Make A Wish or the wonderful vacation they sent us on to Disney World. It truly was one of the best weeks of my life. Everything went so smoothly, much of that was do to all the help from Make a Wish. They had a volunteer meet us at the airport at 5 am. He had a Delta representative waiting to immediately check us in and then escort us to the front of the security line. The Make a Wish volunteer was able to go with us through security to our gate. Another Make a Wish volunteer met us at our gate in Florida and helped us get our luggage and rental car. Our rental was a sweet Toyota Siena and we were able to fit our open carriage in the back without having to unload it each day and fold it down... it was all the little things that made the week wonderful, as well as the pure joy on Ella's face, Biniyam breaking out the dance moves anytime he heard music, and no meltdowns from either child all week!
So, that is why even though the trip was back in March I feel compelled to share some pictures here. Also because I have been promising my mom pictures for 3 months now....

While in Florida we stayed at Give Kids the World which is an amazing village for children with life threatening illnesses and their families. When we pulled into the parking lot Ella got all excited about their creatively painted fire hydrants, we just had to laugh, the girl had no idea just how much more exciting stuff she would see that week!
While at the village were completely spoiled. Everything was free: our villa, food- Boston Market and Pizza delivery, gifts left by housekeeping every day, horseback riding, rides and ice cream- all you can eat, all day- free. We spent a complete day and a half just playing in the village. Here are some of the highlights

In the Gingerbread house, where we ate breakfast every morning. We were so spoiled that they even had volunteers who would carry your trays and drinks to your table for you. The large rabbit is Mayor Clayton, the mayor of Give Kids the World. Ella loved spotting him and his lady friend Miss Merry around the village. We could have even had him come and tuck Ella into bed, but we were pretty sure it would have been traumatic for Biniyam (and me)
outside the Gingerbread house
Mayor Clayton's cottage was in a pretty garden, a friend that Ella made showed it to her. Ella thought it was top secret and a very special place to know about.

The view from our villa, this is how Ella rode on the carriage- like Princess Tiana on the streetcar. It was wonderful to have a villa and not worry about the kids waking up people around us. In the villa it was the kids bedroom that had the attached bath and jetted tub, after all it's all about the kids at GKTW!

Just one of the 3 pools

Dinosaur put put golf
The ice cream parlor, we spent a lot of time here!
Ella was given a star to write her name on and then dropped it in a treasure chest. A fairy came that night and put in on the ceiling in the Castles of Miracles along with the stars of the 80,000 kids who have stayed @ GKTW

"I loved meeting the armadillo"-Ella

The La Ti Da Royal Spa where Ella got her makeup and face painting done as well as a manicure and a tattoo. Notice the toe behind Ella in the picture above, a giant was peeking in through the ceiling.

There was never a line at the carousel and Ella would just go from animal to animal, she probably rode every single one of them at least once.

Our Two Dancers

2010-05-24T16:08:00.003-07:00

Bini has the moves!

Ella likes to play a game where we pretend to have a remote and when we change the channel she acts out different programs (i.e. animal shows, home repair shows) Here we must have been watching a singing/dancing channel.

3 Months Cancer Free!

2010-05-19T13:06:00.000-07:00

Last Wed we brought Ella to Children's for her first post treatment test: ultrasound, chest X-ray and blood work. Praise God, they found "no evidence of disease."
Ella has had so many vague complaints over the last month that have had us asking "is this her being a normal 5 year old or is this a sign of cancer?" Like when she asked to leave a birthday party after an hr because she was "just too tired," when she complains that her belly hurts, or of nausea, when she coughs a lot in her sleep, melts down too easily or sleeps past 9 am. I've had days when I've driven myself crazy wondering, praying that signs or recurrence would be obvious. Twice in the past month I've called her nurse practitioner to let them know our concerns and felt better in that they didn't think we needed to bring her in any sooner then previously planned.

After our appointments on Wed we headed down to the Great Wolf Lodge, it's a chain hotel with a huge indoor water park as well as a interactive "questing" game throughout the hotel. Ella had a blast!

The hotel had an animated show and story time each evening

Other fun we've had over the past month included the Mount Vernon Tulip Festival

Biniyam cracks me up with just how "boy" he is. He loves anything with wheels and he made the car sound without being taught. He also cracks up laughing anytime the word "poop" is said, I'm told it's just a boy thing.
Bini loves his little "lovey" sheep he calls "ba ba" he kisses and cuddles it as he falls asleep. He's so sweet.
The above photo is before shaving down Bini's hair. After picture is below.

Hiking in Glacier on Greg's birthday
Our family in stone piles

Reading with Mimi
Bini's new favorite things are climbing stairs and playing with the light switch.
least favorite- being contained so mom can do laundry.

One Year Ago Today

2010-04-27T21:48:00.007-07:00

We saw our sweet little boy's face for the first time

3 months later we finally met him

After being home one month he'd gained 3 pounds, grew 1 1/4 inches and got his first 4 teeth!
And here he is today, home 9 months. 25 lbs, 16 teeth, a joyful little cruising machine!

Still catching up

2010-04-24T23:18:00.008-07:00

Ella's return to Ballet in early March was even more emotional for me than her return to school. There she was, my little girl who back in Dec. could hardly walk across our living room without falling, and I was watching her dance. It was just so beautifully normal.

Bini pulling himself up on everything (and yes, we lowered his mattress)
Nana and Papa came to visit for a wonderful week.
Bini got a hair cut, his first since coming home.

Ice cream at Mallards

And an evening at Mt. Baker Theater seeing the amazing Soweto Gospel Choir.

Meanwhile, Greg and his dad were in Dubai where Greg attended a conference when he wasn't exploring the city.

On Sunday March 14th, since my parents were still visiting and Greg had returned from Dubai, we dedicated Biniyam at church and then had Ella's Make a Wish party at Chuck E Cheese. We celebrated Ella's bravery throughout her treatment and her upcoming make a wish trip to Disney World.

E with her wonderful Make A Wish volunteers Jodi and Ken (they surprised her with the princess gown.)

a Bon voyage cake
Bini getting driving advise from uncle Cecil
The B-man holding court
Ella had a wonderful time at her party!

He's My King

2010-04-09T23:15:00.003-07:00

Signs of Spring

2010-04-02T21:23:00.004-07:00

"Look Mom, two signs of spring!"

A return to Normalcy (What's that?)

2010-03-11T23:05:00.015-08:00

I'm way behind in my blogging, mainly because we jumped right back into life after Ella's port was removed and we have been quite busy! In the past 6 weeks we have had 2 weeks of visitors and one fabulous week in Disney World. Ella has returned to school and ballet, she has had colds, a stomach bug, strange rash (treated with antibiotics) all to be expected as her immune system builds itself back up to a healthy level. To quote Ella "I just can't believe it, first I have cancer now I have this nasty cold!" yeah sweetheart, they're not quite the same but I'm glad you don't realize that.

To prepare her for people's reaction to her talking about having cancer we've told her that saying she had cancer could be like someone saying they were bitten by a dog. An initial reaction would be shock and worry, did the dog bite off their hand? To which they may say "no, it was just a small dog, they bit me and I hurt, but I'm fine now." She gets this, has no fear of dogs nor is reacting with fear to others concerns.

Now to finish out February-

For Valentine's Day Ella had been requesting to go to Build a Bear and Mallards, our favorite icecream shop. We were so happy that she got her port out 2 days before the holiday and we were able to bring her out in public!

It's been one month after her last dose of chemo and look how much hair she has grown! The photo below was taken the week she finished treatment.

Ella had long anticipated her first visit to the new children's museum in town.

Ella's FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!! One week after having surgery to remove her port Ella headed back to school. I never imagined we would send her back so quickly, I had thought we'd keep her home for another month and ease into the return to normalcy. But once that port was removed I was shocked at just how "done" I really felt. And Ella was so excite to return to school! So very excited that we had her first day occur on a Friday, giving her a weekend to recover and regain energy for the next week of school (although she has yet to make it through a complete 5 day week at school without being home sick or too tiered)
Ella decided to wear her beads of courage on the first day of school, each bead represents part of her treatment- white beads for chemo, stars for surgeries..... It's a great way for her to open conversations about what she's been through.
And after all she has been through, she is still TOTALLY ELLA!
After school I brought the kids out to lunch to celebrate, here Ella is talking to nana on my cell phone while sitting in a statues lap.
Lumi Island, Ella's choice of what to do on a sunny Saturday. She was an efficient little "project manager" in getting her stone castle built (we lack sand on our NW beaches) E-"Let's make a stone castle" Me- "How do we do that" E- "Mom you gather the rocks, Dad you get the seaweed, I'll collect some sticks..." and she in continued to gently direct us until the castle was built the way she had envisioned.

@boulevard park
My friend Christian came to visit for a week (from Vermont) and wanted to go up to Vancouver to see the Olympic activities. (Vancouver is only about 40 minutes from us) Above Ella enjoyed the animal displays at an exhibit about Canada's northern regions.
@ Canada Place
our first view of the Olympic flames, through all the fencing (Bini was sleeping)
Waiting in line for a better view. You can see the Olympic rings out in the water. We also enjoyed watching the sea planes come and go.

Bini is now pulling himself up!
Hiking in Bellingham

The beautiful snow capped Olympic mountains
Ah, Biniyam. I just can't get enough of him (Greg pointed out that this is because he's always asleep. True, he is a great sleeper/napper and if he were not I may not be singing the same tune.) But he is just completely delicious, I totally want to just devour him. He is full of joy, laughter and sweetness. And if someone told me he grew in my uterus I would believe them because he is so completely a part of me and I am his mama, and that is a beautiful thing!

Biniyam is 1!

2010-02-28T15:01:00.005-08:00

Auntie Deb and Biniyam at Seattle's zoo the day before Bini's 1st Birthday. We had a great time and were able to pick Greg up from the airport that evening when he returned from Haiti.

Here's our handsome one year old. He weighs 22lbs and is 29 inches long.
I love the way he scrunches up his nose when he smiles!
Both kids in their Ethiopian outfits.

Biniyam's first taste of cake
He loves it!
We'd been working with Bin on his "more" sign and he wasn't clearly using it, he'd wiggle his hands or clap and we'd count it as asking for more. But on his Birthday after devouring his piece of cake he brought his two little hands together and very clearly asked for "more." And of course I had to give him more, it was his first time using his sign. He now signs "more", "all done" and "book". I love this stage of development when we get insight into his little mind and desires.

Bini is quite chatty!

Here Comes the Sun

2010-02-12T13:25:00.006-08:00

We are done!!! Done with chemo, with cancer and with that pesky port!!

The song running through my head today is the Nina Simone version of Here Comes the Sun
"Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right"

Ella's singing a little song that goes

"chemo is done, chemo is done, I don't miss my port a single bit.. It's all done, I'm sooo glad, so glad. It's all done with a kiss from me to you. I'll kiss my port too, NO Way!"

On Wed Ella's tests came back with no signs of cancer and early this morning they removed her port (the line under her skin through which she received chemo.)

Now we are breathing easier, doing our happy dance.
With the port out we no longer need to worry about her getting fevers, which has been the big concern that has kept us away from people, especially other kids, these past 5+months. Two of Ella's friends stopped by today with a huge balloon for her and it was so great to see her running and playing with them in the yard.

The surgery itself went smoothly. They scheduled her for 8am which meant we had to leave our house before 5 in order to make it to our 7am checkin. My wonderful sister Deb met us as the hospital to watch Biniyam so both Greg and I could be with Ella pre and post-op. The surgery itself only took a half hour and she's has had no complaints of pain or nausea.

We are praising God for carrying us through this most difficult chapter of our lives!

January Pictures

2010-01-31T21:20:00.005-08:00

A tea party
When Ella helps me feet Biniyam this is the end result.
For Christmas Ella asked for a kangaroo costume and with the help of a little hot glue this is what she got. She likes to pretend Summit is a dingo trying to get her and they chase each other around the house.

Biniyam is crawling! He just started really moving this month, before that he could do a good job getting around by rolling and scooting backwards, but never too fast. I really appreciated that we had an extended time with him just sitting in one place happily playing with the toys surrounding him! I also appreciate that he waited until all of the Christmas decorations were down to start seeking mischief. He is also mimicking sounds, he says mama and dadda but they're more sounds than calling us. He does however say Ella sometimes very clearly but usually it's more of an Eehh but definitely directed towards Ella. He also says Uh for up and will sometimes say ba for ball. He continues to be an extremely happy baby! I love that when I'm cooking dinner and he's in his chair all I have to do is make a face at him every few minutes and he'll burst into laughter.

Updates from Haiti

2010-01-27T21:23:00.003-08:00

We've been able to have contact with Greg daily since he arrived in Haiti last Saturday, through e-mail & now his cell phone. He's working at a clinic located in the old police barracks very close to the Presidential Palace and a large tent city. Because of its central location the clinic has been very busy, seeing 500-600 people a day. It has also become a central drop off location for many supplies, food and water distribution. Greg is moved by how grateful the people are when given a bottle of water. He was sleeping with all the clinic workers and the police officers outside the clinic in the parking lot but it is noisy, hot and smelly there so last night he moved with others to the roof of the police barracks where at least it's a bit cooler and there is less odor.
From the roof he was able to see a parade of worshipers singing praises as they marched down the street. They were singing in creole. Greg asked out loud "What are they saying" and suddenly there was a Hatian woman beside him on the roof, she said "They are singing 'Satan, you aren't gonna get us this way.'"